Invite or not to invite the cousins i don't talk to?

I wouldn’t, and didn’t, invite people I didn’t talk to just because they were family. We cut several cousins and other extended family members we have no relationship with.

View Quoted Comment Your parents (specifically your mom) was ok with that? My mom became very upset when I told her I didn’t want to invite the cousins because I had students who I was closer with.

View Quoted Comment My parents weren’t thrilled, but they also weren’t paying. I made it very clear at the start that I wasn’t going to be guilt tripped into a 200+ person wedding, especially since H and I were paying.

I don't feel it's far to pay for people that you don't talk to even if they are family. You and your mother needs to have a heart to heart. Explaining to her that you want to have people there who loves and support you and your new husband. And if this is still and issue then the only suggestion is she cover two more tables because she would now have to cover a table for your extra guest as well as your husbands. Since she wants to break the budget to please people you don't talk too.

I also struggled with this as I don't talk to most of my dad's side the family they're practically strangers. I am only inviting the ones that I am close too because. We only want people who mean something to us to be there and we at don't want it to be a huge wedding. I discussed it with my dad and told him how I felt and he said that fine. (Yes paying for catering). Our guest list was at a 110 and I've now got it down to 85 people by not inviting most of my dad's side the family.
I would only invite The people who mean the most to you guys.

I tried to talk to her last week about it and she blasted me. She said well if you don’t invite the cousins we may as well not invite your aunts and uncles. She was so mad.

I guess that that leads to another question: how do you deal with a mother who doesn’t seem happy with any of your choices?

View Quoted Comment I stopped telling her what my choices were. It sucked but not talking about it meant she couldn’t have an opinion on it.

We eloped with no guests in Hawaii and had a reception later. Out of 6 siblings, 3 were invited. I invited 2 of my 8 aunts and uncles. 3 of 20+ cousins. I didn't see the need to invite people I don't even really know or have a relationship with. To me, it's weird to get invited to a wedding for someone I don't even talk to. I would think they were just being gift grabby. Right? If you got an invitation to a wedding of someone you don't even have a relationship with, wouldn't you think that's weird?

I personally am inviting cousins just because that's something my family typically does - but with a 55 person guest count, I would take up at least 75% with just cousins so in that case I couldn't. I see where your mom is coming from but I also 100% see where you're coming from and if it is you and your FH that are paying for it, then ultimately its your call so you do what you want!

View Quoted Comment This!! It seems like anytime I talk to my mom about the wedding, there's a fight. I'm also not inviting a cousin who has been an absolute terror to me for over 15 years and is just a rotten person. We're having a small wedding that we are paying for and I want it to be with the people I actually love and care about.
I've stopped giving my mom wedding details because it only leaves me hurt. It stinks because I am her only daughter and I'm SO excited about my wedding, I just want to tell her everything. If wedding discussions come up, I have to remind myself it's about my day and no one's opinions matter except for FH. It's tough, but it's been helping.

It's such a tough thing to do! We are currently generating our list of 101 people: approx. 20 are cousins/family from NH and we are now living in NC for the past 4 years and we are having our wedding in Raleigh. I am really just having a tough decision process, too, because I feel as if we are not close: there are drama clouds hanging between the cousins/families/ for several reasons and honestly it will cost a heck of a lot more to include them! however, I am wondering if I do invite them if they will even show. Another part of me believes they may all shock us and show up after all. It's terribly difficult to decide but if you feel "OK" cutting some people out then by all means do so.

I agree with Sarah. I wouldn't and won't be sending them an invite to my wedding. I wouldn't worry about even split for guests. My FH will have 53/84 of our guests and that doesn't bother me at all.

I had a similar problem which thankfully resolved itself. I have an auntie and uncle (dad's side) and that I don't speak to. I didn't want to invite them because tbh I can't stand my auntie, my mum then kicked off about it, not wanting to argue I said fine. Luckily as it turns out they will be on holiday when we're getting married anyway.
I now just tell my mum stuff I know she won't moan about, and talk to FMIL since her motto is 'it's YOUR big day, not anyone elses' 😘

Don’t feel obligated to invited anyone! So I’m getting married at the end of the month and we are also having a small wedding, 54 people. When it came time to figure out my guest list I knew I would have to decide whether to invite my moms 3 brothers and their families,m who we haven’t talked to or seen in 3 years. Since we wanted to keep the wedding small I decided to not to invite them. I’m happy with my decision because since the wedding is so small I really just wanted family and friends there that we have a strong relationship with. So don’t feel pressured to invite someone just because they are family, good luck with everything!

Our numbers are completely lopsided. I have way more people attending than my FH. But I wouldn't invite more people. You don't speak with them much, and if they go. That's more money for you/your father. I've been arguing with a lot of family since we only have 30 people, on why we are not inviting more.

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This exactly. We did invite one cousin but, that is because she is like a sister to me. My entire family is well aware of this fact. I have a HUGE family and inviting everyone just didn't fit with our vision.

Please do not feel obligated to invite people you don't talk to.

From the beginning, I have refrained from letting my mom know exactly who was and was not invited. I am not inviting her 3 sisters and their families. That would total more than the 50 guests we want and I am just not doing it. We are not that close. Not having a fight about it. Just not want we want and I am not going to be made to feel guilty.