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Just Said Yes April 2023

Invite or not invite parents?

Erin, on February 24, 2023 at 4:52 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4

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So this is my third marriage. I’ve finally got the right man and am having my dream wedding. My fiancé and I are both domestic violence survivors and both started our lives over so our guest list is pretty small. My parents live in my home state still and I’m not sure if I should invite them or not. They can be judgemental and are old fashioned, and I don’t want them thinking anything bad about me because this isn’t my first wedding. So that makes me nervous to invite them. On one hand I can’t imagine not inviting them and upsetting them if they found out I did something so big without them, but I also worry about inviting them and feeling judged. In a perfect world I’d love for them to come support us and see how happy my kids and I are but obviously we don’t always get what we wish for. What should I do? Give me some thoughts to chew on please!

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Brittany, on February 27, 2023 at 9:31 AM

Rosebud · on February 24, 2023 at 5:48 PM
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First of all congrats to you! I would invite them above all a parent usually just wants to see their child happy. Let them get to know you and your partner as a couple seeing you happy will most likely bring them joy. My mom always says a parent is only as happy as their saddest child. If they choose not to come that is on them but I would extend the invite and let them know you'd love to see them there. Best of luck to you!
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on February 24, 2023 at 6:22 PM
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Do you have a good relationship with parents outside of the wedding? If so, then invite them. If you don’t have a good relationship, then don’t feel pressured to invite them because other people have great relationships. If you want to extend an olive branch, do so at a separate time and location that is not related to the wedding and go from there.
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Master October 2023
Cece · on February 24, 2023 at 6:33 PM
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I think it’s hard to give any kind of opinion based on the little information provided. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Do you speak regularly with them? Do they know you and your fiancé are engaged and planning to be married? Have they given you a reason to feel they would be unsupportive/judgemental about this marriage?
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Dedicated July 2023
Brittany · on February 27, 2023 at 9:31 AM
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I'd invite them and leave the ball in their court for whether they come or not. You'll know how they feel based on their RSVP. If they are open to celebrating your union, they will be there. And if they're not receptive to it they'll probably decline. But I'd at least give them the decency of the invite, to let them make the decision for themselves. You might be surprised!
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