Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

R
Beginner July 2020

Invite or don’t invite

Rylie, on December 26, 2019 at 11:35 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 28

It all started his sophomore year of college. Keep in mind I’ve never met his friends partner nor talked. She wouldn’t let me add her now husband on anything but she could have my man on everything. I couldn’t text her husband but she could text mine. One day I text her husband because my fiancés...
It all started his sophomore year of college. Keep in mind I’ve never met his friends partner nor talked. She wouldn’t let me add her now husband on anything but she could have my man on everything. I couldn’t text her husband but she could text mine. One day I text her husband because my fiancés phone wasn’t receiving my calls & I was worried. He screenshots and shows her and she flipped out and message me on IG and told me to never text him again. I was in shock & honestly wasn’t my best but apologized. She then blocks me & has her husband do so on everything as well. Fast forward a year she unblocks me on everything. Then I post in my IG story a quote. ( I love quotes) For some reason she assumed my post was about her. Then she & her husband block me on everything for the second time. Year later They get engaged. My fiancé was supposed to be a groomsman but refused when told I wasn’t invited because of his friends wife. (Proper etiquette rule is you can’t tell a party member who they can & cannot invite) Months later she messages me on IG and apologized for holding a grudge ( still don’t don’t about what) invites us & says since she’ll be living with her husband & doesn’t want things to be weird when I’m in town. (The boys were finishing college). I accepted even though I had a weird feeling. I was excited and happy. Got them gifts & went to the wedding. When I came into town I always invited them to join us out and invited them to a Christmas party I planned for all my fiancées friends. I was there when she lost a family member & got her a gift. I was always generous & kind. I was putting in effort while she wasn’t. I’d always catch her lacking eye contact or uninterested when I talked. Often on her phone. She would give fake smiles to me & give a strong look into my eyes. I would get a gut feeling. Then again she assumes I was talking about them but this time it was me expressing my opinion on my IG. She message me and ask if it was about them. Before I could reply she blocked me on everything again. My fiancé lived with them at that time and told him I’m not allowed in their home because I make her uncomfortable. (We were doing long distance) so when I visited we stayed at his other friends house because we didn’t have money for a hotel. Now I’m engaged I’m not sure to invite them or not. She has no respect for me & full of negativity. What do I do? Sorry that was long.

28 Comments

  • Catherine
    VIP November 2019
    Catherine ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    If they aren't good for you, then no. i'm not sure how your FH is still friends with him when he allows his s/o to treat you as such.

    • Reply
  • R
    Beginner July 2020
    Rylie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I’ve asked my fiancé that and he said because he’s not the one treating me poorly.
    • Reply
  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    If your husband and her husband are good enough friends their friendship won't end, if it does their friendship probably never mattered enough to him. I would never have even considered anyone like that to be invited to one of the most intimate and special days of my life.


    No and No and No one more time, don't let her guilt you into thinking that you will mess up the guys friendship either because she seems like someone who'd do that.

    • Reply
  • R
    Beginner July 2020
    Rylie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Honestly I have had weight on my shoulders thinking That if I don’t invite them that it will be my fault if they aren’t friends anymore. Even though my fiancé said he doesn’t care if they aren’t there.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree. However annoying this all has been, in general, your honey should not block you from inviting your friends. You should not block him from inviting his. Everything OP mentions is petty, social media type crap. No abusive behavior, nothing violent or criminal, which she would be entitled to use as a reason to exclude her. Leave it to SO to decide on his friends, and family. Hard enough to get along with all of a SO or spouse's friends. Expecting to get along with the friends' SO or drop the friendship ( because you cannot exclude half a couple) would quickly become a large point of friction in your home, and is not worth the damage to your relationship, by you trying to control his friends and him control yours. So just leave it alone .
    • Reply
  • Megan
    Dedicated September 2020
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    No the last thing you want to worry about on your big day is someone being hateful and trying to take the spotlight. You shouldn't invite either of them.

    • Reply
  • R
    Beginner July 2020
    Rylie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    UPDATE: We she message my fiancé telling him we can’t not invite them. She clearly doesn’t see how she treats me poorly & full of negativity. Do we reply or ignore? We’re trying to be polite but firm.
    • Reply
  • Catherine
    VIP November 2019
    Catherine ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I mean i do understand that but as a friend i feel like he should still ask his friend to talk to his s/o. its wrong to treat anyone that way. but if he could at least talk to her i'm sure it would help. and if he doesn't i would just not be involved with that couple at all. i'm sorry Smiley amazing

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics