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Just Said Yes December 2018

Invite Old hs Friends That You Haven’t Spoken to in Years??

Emily, on May 28, 2018 at 10:05 AM Posted in Planning 0 8

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Hey everyone! So, I’m in the process of finalizing my guest list before mailing out Save the Dates and I’m noticing that the only person I’m inviting from high school is my closest friend who is also a bridesmaid. I haven’t really kept in contact with most of my friends from high school over the years. I’m now 5 years out of high school. I keep revisiting the idea of inviting them, mainly to give us an opportunity to reconnect. It’s one of those things where it doesn’t make sense that they were a part of my life for so long but not invited to the special day of my life. What does everyone think? Our guest list does have to be limited to around 120 people and we keep playing with that number (a little less sometimes and other times a little more). But if I really wanted them there, I’d make it work. I guess I’m just wondering if I’m being too sentimental and should only invite the people I’ve actually been associating with for the past year or if high school memories trump that.

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8 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on May 29, 2018 at 5:19 PM

Super June 2018
NinjaBride · on May 28, 2018 at 10:07 AM
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I would only invite people you actually talk to. I’m 11 years out of high school and the people I haven’t kept in contact with are not important on my wedding day.
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VIP October 2018
Jessica · on May 28, 2018 at 10:17 AM
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Nah. I'd rather use the space to invite people who support me in the present. 😊
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VIP July 2018
The Nuptials · on May 28, 2018 at 10:30 AM
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No way, pass on everyone but obviously the bridesmaid. A wedding is no time to reconnect if you ask me. Do that at the high school reunion. Use the 120 spots for people that are VIPs in your lives.
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Dedicated October 2018
Elizabeth · on May 28, 2018 at 10:53 AM
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I had the same struggle! After posting on WW I came to my conclusion and decided that it was going to be difficult to have really meaningful conversations with every guest at the wedding and while I do want to rekindle something with these old friends that my wedding is not the place to try to do that. I will catch up with them outside the wedding and hope to catch up on those friendships, but not inviting them also leaves space for if it just isn't meant to be to stay in touch with those people in the future. Some people are only meant to be in our lives for a short time, however meaningful.
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Devoted June 2018
SoKatiiee · on May 28, 2018 at 11:40 AM
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I left high school about the same time and I have 2 coming to my wedding, both in my bridal party. Same with my FH. If we don't talk there is no reason to pay for their dinner. If I wanted to rekindle the friendship that was I would have done it before or after the wedding.
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VIP September 2018
rica · on May 28, 2018 at 2:30 PM
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A wedding isn't the time to reconnect. If you're feeling sentimental or missing them, schedule another day to get together.
I do understand thinking about it though. Something I did to help narrow down the guest list was stop to think about the effort these people were currently putting into the relationship. I have a few college friends who I rarely talk to anymore. If they continued to put minimal effort into the relationship as the months went on, I cut them off the list. If they responded when I reached out to make plans and showed interest, I kept them on. I ended up with only three college friends on the list - one I stayed really close with all along, and my two roommates who I didn't stay super close with, but always put in effort to stay in touch.
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Just Said Yes December 2018
Emily · on May 29, 2018 at 4:35 PM
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Thank you all for your opinions. Y’all make sense! I may see if they want to do lunch one day just for fun instead of using my wedding as the rekindle destination.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on May 29, 2018 at 5:19 PM
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I'm not inviting people I was close to in high school and aren't now. If I end up reconnecting in the future, great! But I'm not spending $100 on food & liquor & favors for a person who also didn't find it necessary to keep in touch with me, haha! My rule is if they don't know my fiance, haven't met him, or didn't congratulate when we got engaged, I don't think they are close enough to be in at our wedding.
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