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Dedicated December 2018

Invite estranged sister?-venting

Stacy , on July 17, 2018 at 7:35 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 10

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I'm conflicted if I should invite my estranged sister? I've had no contact with her for more than a year. I've sent here a few text messages over the past year but she hasn't replied to any of them. My parents do see her occasionally and she told my parents she (and her 3 kids) won't come to my wedding. It really doesn't matter to me at this point in my life if my sister comes to the wedding but it makes me very upset that she won't let her 3 kids (my nieces and nephews) come. My sister's ex-husband asked if he could have the 3 kids the weekend of my wedding and she won't let him (yes, if he had the kids he'd bring them to the wedding). I mostly want to send her an invite so she can't say I didn't since I know she won't come.

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Latest activity by CountryRoads, on July 18, 2018 at 9:10 PM

Dedicated May 2020
Hunter · on July 17, 2018 at 7:51 PM
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It's clearly a waste of time to send her an invite. Unfortunately, you guys being estranged means her children are also included. I wouldn't send an invite because it won't affect your day either way!
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VIP October 2018
Sara P. · on July 17, 2018 at 8:17 PM
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Do you want her at your wedding? If so, send the invite even if you're pretty sure she won't come. If not or you couldn't care less, skip it.
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Dedicated December 2018
Stacy · on July 17, 2018 at 8:24 PM
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I want it to be HER decision. Sometime in the future she will realize that family is important and that SHE has chosen not to participate in family events. Maybe by some miracle her kids would see the invite and tell her they want to come.
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VIP October 2018
Sara P. · on July 17, 2018 at 8:26 PM
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So then I would send the invitation. That puts the ball in her court, just how you want it.
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Super August 2018
FutureMrsO · on July 17, 2018 at 9:25 PM
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I would send it then and just see what happens! Sending it can’t hurt and makes you look like the bigger person!
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Devoted November 2023
Crystal · on July 17, 2018 at 10:28 PM
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Obviously family isn't important to her though.
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Master August 2019
Tpatb · on July 18, 2018 at 6:24 AM
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It honestly sounds like it is something you want even though there’s a strong possibility she may not come. Just send her an invite & hope for the best..it can’t hurt. Good luck!
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on July 18, 2018 at 9:04 AM
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She's already stated she isn't coming so she's already made the choice. I can say with experience that not everyone who stops speaking with family members come around. My sister has not spoken to my parents in almost 20 years. She's been to family things like funerals and holidays but acts like my parents aren't in the room. Save yourself the $ and stress and skip the invite. Don't put it on her kids to try to guilt her into coming. That will only make her resent you more.
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Super May 2019
c · on July 18, 2018 at 12:01 PM
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Send the invitation as a courtesy. It'll then be her choice to say yes or no. Are any of her kids over 18? If so, I'd send them their own invitations also and let them decide.
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Expert October 2018
CountryRoads · on July 18, 2018 at 9:10 PM
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If you really are indifferent as to whether she comes, I would send her the invite as a gesture of good faith. But if that is not how you truely feel, I would reconsider the invite
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