Invitations

Couples commonly send 2 mailings to deal with your stated etiquette concerns such as: unwanted guests, no-shows, and guest/ host planning. 1) Save the Date cards are often inexpensive and should go out ASAP, best if 1 year notice max as people do forget. No, you don't need your photo on these, but is a popular option. Save the Dates just give the date, not details. But, if you have guests who must travel, good to list city so they can plan. 2) Formal invites go out 8-6 weeks ahead of wedding. Notice has already been given with the Save the Date, so the formal invites list the venue, time, other agenda details. Your invitation style will convey how formal the wedding will be to the guest so they can dress appropriately. RSVP cards or website address/ QR code are included with invite. Give your guests an RSVP deadline of 3-4 wks before the wedding and write in # of how many persons are invited. Caterers typically need final, Final headcount from you 1-2 wks before to account for personal emergencies.


When you follow the typical wedding etiquette expected above, you create less headache for yourself. When done too early, you encounter headaches:- guests forgetting and no showing.- guests whose work or personal calendars change.- guests who now feel they should continually contact you by text, phone because you've now conveyed you want more contact from them. - guests who want to ask you for a plus 1- guests who will now contact you for help with hotels, rides, etc.- you sabotage your own planning schedule with guest issues when you have other wedding details to take care of.- you get overly focused on negatives like party crashers instead of the happiness of your wedding. It's about you two, not others. It helps to get in the mindset that you're inviting grown adults who know how to act. Plus, any Unlisted guests who show up do not get a seat card, chair, or meal. You can always hire security to dole out escort cards if these eases your mind. Your wedding isn't like any other party. Best wishes.

Honestly I agree with your guests. July is too early for a final deadline. You don't need a final count until usually 2 weeks before. I'm not sure what you think you need that much notice in order to buy. A lot can change between July and October that guests very well might not know that far in advance if they can attend. Also have do you expect people to properly plan if they don't know where they are going for this event. You'd also make more work for yourselves with having to contact each person after they RSVP.

I meant it is too early to have a deadline of July for a wedding in October

Invitations should be sent 6 - 8 weeks prior to the wedding. RSVPs are due 2 - 3 weeks prior to the wedding. All the information should be on the invitations. I refer to the invitation when going to a wedding to make sure I have the location and the time.

You are going to cause a lot of problems for yourself with your ideas. You will have no shows because people's schedules will change or they will forget.

Our caterer asked for the final head count two weeks before the wedding. I’m planning on sending out our invitations at the end of August so six weeks before our date. I think that it will work out well that way because summer (activities and travel) and back to school prep will be winding down by then. And our STD’s will probably go out in July.

Per ChatGPT:

💌 Save the Dates

• Best time to send:
  October 2025 – January 2026 (8–12 months before the wedding)

📬 Wedding Invitations

• Best time to send:
  July – August 2026 (6–8 weeks before the wedding)

📝 RSVP Deadline

• Set for:
  Around 3–4 weeks before the wedding
  → So, by mid-September 2026 at the latest