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Dedicated January 2018

Invitations vs. Announcements

Malayia, on November 12, 2017 at 6:15 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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So our invitations came in this week and I ordered 20, 30 people are coming (shared households account to the # difference). When my parents found out I only ordered 20 invitations they were all snappy because they said they had clients that wanted an invitation so that they could send us gifts/money.

My thought has always been: if I don't want you to come then you don't get an invitation, period.

I mentioned sending an announcement (possibly even with a picture afterward) and they said it would be too late and they know for sure the people aren't coming. I just feel like if they REALLY want to send a gift they can do so without an invitation and I can save money and not risk someone deciding to show up.

I don't even care about getting the gifts but these are long term clients of theirs so I'm assuming they know they'll be sending good stuff which is why it's a big deal to them. Should I order more invitations or just make some announcements with registry info on it?

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Rosered, on November 13, 2017 at 1:20 PM

Super December 2024
edecker · on November 12, 2017 at 6:20 PM
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I would make some wedding announcements with registry info and not the ceremony/reception info. That way, they won't even be able to show up, but can send gifts. However some people could be offended that they weren't invited, but if it's your parents giving them out then it's #notyourproblem haha
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Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on November 12, 2017 at 11:58 PM
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Not everyone is on social media. Announcements are fine--they just go out after you're married, so no one will confuse them with an invitation. However, sending an invitation to someone you hope won't come is a disaster waiting to happen.
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Devoted October 2017
Dextor3000 · on November 13, 2017 at 12:17 AM
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Yeah don't send invites to people you don't want there. What if they do come? And I had several of my parents' friends send us gifts even though they weren't invited. They just asked my mom for the registry info. So if people really want to give you a gift, they will.
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Just Said Yes December 2017
mary · on November 13, 2017 at 11:56 AM
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You send them after the wedding. Plenty of invited guests send gifts post-wedding. And do NOT put your registry info on the announcement. If someone asks, you can tell them.
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Master July 2017
A. L. · on November 13, 2017 at 12:32 PM
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You are right, your parents are wrong.
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Beginner December 2017
Kourtney · on November 13, 2017 at 12:39 PM
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Announcements aren't necessary, and if you follow your parents' suggestion it will come off as tacky and gift-grabby. Just send the invites to your guests and be done
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VIP May 2018
Ashley · on November 13, 2017 at 1:01 PM
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Um no this is gift grabby.... do NOT send announcements to people who aren't invited just for the gifts!!!
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Super April 2018
VC · on November 13, 2017 at 1:05 PM
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Don't send them anything. If they wish to give you a gift, let them. But certainly don't send an announcement to get them to give you a gift. Tell your parents these people aren't invited and move on.
@edecker what the actual fuck?
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Devoted January 2019
Rosered · on November 13, 2017 at 1:20 PM
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Announcements are not inherently gift grabby and can be nice if sent to the correct people. Mainly elderly people without social media. But you should never include registry information on it. That would make it clear that you are expecting a gift from them and that is rude.
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