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Beginner September 2020

Invitations to bridal shower

Jennifer, on November 12, 2019 at 9:56 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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Hi everyone!

I wanted your opinions on something. I am a nurse who recently moved to a new hospital after years working at my old hospital.
My guest list for my wedding is pretty set and falls within our current budget for catering, etc.
I have invited a few of my closest coworkers from my old job to the wedding (who at this point are actual friends), however there are a few coworkers from the new job that I would like to invite to celebrate.
my question is: what do you all think about inviting the new coworkers to my bridal shower but not my wedding? They’re all understanding ladies and I’m sure if I explained that, though I’d love to have them all celebrate with me, I cannot unfortunately invite everyone to the wedding, they’d understand. What is the etiquette around this? Any advice would be helpful!

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on November 13, 2019 at 10:06 AM

Master January 2015
null · on November 12, 2019 at 9:58 AM
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The etiquette rule is not to invite anyone to pre-wedding events (bridal showers) who isn't invited to a wedding. Simply because you're inviting them to an event to bring you gifts, but not to your wedding. They'll understand that you can't invite them to the wedding/wedding events!
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on November 12, 2019 at 10:02 AM
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If they want to throw you a work shower, they will, but it's extremely rude to invite them to a gift giving event and not the wedding.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on November 12, 2019 at 10:37 AM
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I agree with the ladies above. It’s rude to invite them to a shower but not your wedding. Perhaps they will throw you a shower at work.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on November 12, 2019 at 12:32 PM
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I wouldn't. I think it's a bit odd to invite only to pre wedding events
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on November 12, 2019 at 12:41 PM
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There’s no polite way to do that. If they want to celebrate with you, they can plan something small on their own or just get you a gift if they choose. Besides that, if you already have your guest list and budget set, don’t mess with it now. Once you start bending the bottom line it gets much easier to bend it again and things can start getting out of control pretty easily. I’m a nurse too. I get it. But I can also tell you that your new work friends will not think any less of you for not being invited even with the new friendships that have formed.
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on November 12, 2019 at 2:06 PM
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Definitely don't invite them to your shower but not your wedding! If you wanted to celebrate with them, maybe order in lunch for everyone one day and treat them!
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Lady · on November 12, 2019 at 2:18 PM
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Don't do this. I understand wanting to include them, but if they want to get you something to celebrate your wedding, they will - regardless of whether of whether they're invited. Unless you can invite them to everything, it's better to invite them to nothing.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on November 12, 2019 at 3:04 PM
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As PPs said, it's considered rude to invite them to pre-wedding events but not the actual wedding! It's kinda like a slap in the face saying "you're good enough to get me a gift, but you're not good enough to come to my wedding."
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Beginner September 2020
Jennifer · on November 13, 2019 at 10:06 AM
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Thank you all so much for this feedback! I appreciate it- it’s hard to know what is acceptable to do differently and what is more traditional/customary and why! Thanks again!
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