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Savvy September 2019

Invitations for guests that already said they can't make it?

Karen, on May 13, 2019 at 10:17 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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If you have guests that already verbally told you they won't be able to make it do you still send them an invitation? They did get a save the date if that makes any difference. Or does that just appear gift grabby like you know they can't come but want them to still get you a gift? One family said they can't come because it's too costly to travel/limited vacation time and I was thinking of still inviting them just in case plans could change, but then one person will be abroad so I feel like it's not necessary to send an invite internationally since they definitely won't be able to come - does that seem like the right thing to do?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Nafisah, on May 14, 2019 at 5:01 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on May 13, 2019 at 10:20 AM
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Anyone who receives a save the date should get an invitation. Plans change all the time.
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VIP June 2020
Jessica · on May 13, 2019 at 10:21 AM
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I was actually thinking about this, so I'm following to see what people say. I think I will still be sending invitations so that they can "formally" tell me they wont be coming, even if they said they wont. Like you said things can change and they may have decided to come, but then wont receive an invitation.
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VIP October 2018
Victoria · on May 13, 2019 at 10:24 AM
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We sent them to those we knew wouldn't be able to make it, and enclosed a little note saying we would miss them. Sometimes plans change, sometimes people just like seeing the invitations. We just did it as a nice gesture to let them know we thought they were important enough to us for us to want to share our special day with them. We had a destination wedding (4 hours or so from ourselves and most guests) so we knew we'd have some that wouldn't be able to make it.
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Savvy September 2019
Karen · on May 13, 2019 at 10:28 AM
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That's a great idea to just include a short little handwritten note! I think that's what we may do!
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VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on May 13, 2019 at 10:32 AM
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We didn't do save the dates. Some family members from FHs family said they wouldn't be able to make it, so we didn't send an invite. I only sent one invite to a couple that said they weren't going to make it but that is because she attended my bridal shower and I didn't want there to be any hard feelings.
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Master October 2019
Jolie · on May 13, 2019 at 12:24 PM
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I think sending a note is a good idea with the formal invite to that select family! We had FH's older half brother decide that he feels disrespected in our date choice because it is the date his other brother passed many years ago, I am talking childhood and the half brother is now in his 40's. I know people grieve and want to honor deceased relatives in different ways I just find he is being a little overboard. We already booked and it wasn't on FH's mind. We ran it by FH's father and he said he was fine with it and would turn the day into a happier occasion. Well, FH's half brother disagrees. We are still sending an invite because he might change his mind.
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Savvy September 2019
Karen · on May 13, 2019 at 2:12 PM
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I think that sounds like a good idea and would be a kind gesture. I'm with you that it does seem a bit overboard since it was so long ago but a note acknowledges his grief and says you're thinking of him - and who knows he may change his mind.
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Super May 2019
Nafisah · on May 14, 2019 at 5:01 AM
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It's proper to send an invite if you sent a save the date. Just let them decline formally.
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