Invitations for Delined Rsvps

I think you're fine without the note. To me, that comes off as "you're invited, but not really," and it'll end up causing more issues. Just send the invites as normal and if they can't come then they'll RSVP no and that'll be it.

View Quoted Comment Complete agree with this

I’m confused. They declined an invitation but you want to send a second invitation? What part did they the decline? The save the date? Those are always followed up with an invitation because you are letting them know that if they were able, you would love to have them in attendance.



For the relatives you mentioned who are not friendly. Don’t invite them. Only have people in attendance who will bring a positive happy vibe to your day. Skip any and all notes. Mom can host them at a family reunion picnic at another another time that is not your wedding or financial responsibility.

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They've already RSVPd that they aren't coming but my mom wants me to send them an invitation anyway.

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They declined the RSVP which I sent on the save the date. Invitations, which have the timeline and location, are going out this week.

View Quoted Comment That might be the cause for confusion. An rsvp is not sent with save the dates. No one can predict that far ahead if they can attend or not. Because save the dates have already gone out, a formal invitation needs to be sent as a follow up for each one. Don’t send extra notes.

I had some family who we knew probably wouldn't come because they don't travel anymore. (They're not elderly or anything, they're just homebodies.) We sent them the same kind of invite as everyone else, no "extra notes" or anything. An invitation is not a summons.

I was in the same predicament but I sent them anyway with a note that indicated how understandably regretful we were that they would not be able to be there but wanted to send the invite as a keepsake as their possible presence and support was important to us. In a few cases some prior declines ended up confirming their attendance.

A save the date means an invitation is to follow, so you should send it.

RSVP's are never required with save the dates, because then it looks like you're B-listing and no-one knows what they're doing so far ahead.

We had some guests tell us they wouldn't be able to attend upon receiving our Save the Date, but we still sent formal invitations (without any extra notes) as a courtesy to show that we're thinking of them despite knowing their answer already.

What you just said was good enough but to still send an invitation out to them when they already declined. Why send it again some have an invitation already included they are sending back the RSVP cards. That's more money spent but I also you dont want to have words with your mom but there are times when they cant always get there way. I hope that you both can come to a comprise but it is our mother's lol lol good luck

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. I’m very confused on why rsvps were sent with save the dates

Send the invitation with no note. I think receiving a note in a wedding invitation is weird. Especially when it’s basically saying you aren’t planning on them coming and are only sending the invite out of obligation.

That being said, why did they get RSVP cards already when the invitations have not been sent yet? RSVP cards are supposed to go out with invitations.

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Thank you. This is actually helpful. I appreciate the comment.

View Quoted Comment Of course!!!

I just sent out invitations and had the same predicament--a few people had reached out after I sent the save the dates to say they couldn't come. For those people, I put a (cute!) sticky note on the invitations and wrote "I know you probably can't make it, but just in case...we'd love to have you!"

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This seems like a nice and thoughtful solution!