Invitation/RSVP Nightmare...

I would wait until after the deadline before saying anything. Some people are better than others at promptly RSVPing. I don't know how long you have in between your deadline and the date that you have to provide your venue with final numbers but if you have time, maybe give people and week or two buffer zone and if you still haven't heard from them, you could call and just mention that you are finalizing the numbers for your wedding/working on your seating chart and noticed that you haven't received their RSVP card back. I know it's a pain to call so many people, and I'm dreading it once my deadline has passed, but if you want confirmation it has to be done unfortunately. Good luck!

I didn't get a lot of my rsvps back I ended up with a +15 overage at the venue but ohhhh well thank goodness for me its at my dads farm so I don't have a whole lot to worry about other than to add to the all ready growing catering bill and alchahol which dad says is ok.

Wait for the deadline. It's there for a reason. One of my cousins asked me on Facebook wall (totally inappropriate) if I was coming to her wedding weeks before her RSVP date. She had messed up my address the first time she tried to send it and I had literally gotten it that day (and already put the RSVP back in the mail!). I thought it was rude of her to ask when the RSVP date hadn't passed. So, that's my perspective, as a guest.

We waited until the deadline and then reached out to the non rsvpers. Three people said they sent the RSVPs back, so they got lost in the mail. Three more said "oops, were coming!" We had a huge boost in the amount of RSVPs coming in the last week before the deadline and a few over the days right past. I wouldn't worry yet.

Thanks ladies. I'm still really concerned about everyone from OOT who may not of even received their invitation though.

My deadline is June 30, mostly to give me time to call people who are OOT because the hotel block deadline is July 8.

I have at least 30 outstanding people/families at this point, and I expect that some things got lost in the mail.

I am going to call/email and say this: "We know some of the RSVPs got lost in the mail, and I wanted to make sure that you got your invitation and whether or not you had mailed your RSVP." If the person hasn't mailed it/replied, they'll give a little sorry speech and tell you their plans.

I'm with you I'm still a month out from my RSVP date and I want to bug people for answers because I'm going crazy wanting to know. But you should definitely wait for your date before you start hounding people

When FH and I sent out RSVPs we text people to make sure they received their invitations. 2 people didn't receive it and we had to resend them. Not sure why they didn't receive it, but I think it's wise to ask before the deadline if everyone received it. But since your deadline is pretty soon I'll just wait.

Our RVSPs are due in less than a month and we're still missing almost half of them (having an intimate wedding with 70 guest). We sent out our invites in waves and everyone should of received them by mid-May (didn't send save the dates, so wanted to give ppl advance notice since lots of ppl travel in Aug). I'm going to remind them about the RSVPs at the beginning of next month and let them know that they're due on Jul 21st. I'm also going to let them know it's needed to give venue a headcount and for when I'm going the seating chart... I honestly feel with so much time they had to RSVP that ppl simply might have forgotten. I know ppl on WW might say that's breaking etiquette, but a lot of things they say on this site is ridiculous and makes me wonder where they get this stuff from. What may work for one person, might not work for another.

I went to my friend wedding last month and a few weeks before the wedding she sent a little reminder about the RSVPs and informed us they needed to provide the venue with headcount and for the seating chart. When she sent that reminder it reminded me to drop the RSVP in the mailbox (and I did it the very next morning). I believe if ppl aren't use to going to a wedding that they may not understand the significance of the RSVP and may take it as a casual or extra thing that you're requiring.

I had one invitation that got lost (that I know of so far). We decided to randomly check with a handful of people and just told them. Hey, someone didn't get their invitation, just wanted to make sure you got yours.

I don't see the big deal in this

Our RSVP deadline was 2 days ago on the 24th. I waited until the evening of the 24th and after I checked the mailbox, I started sending out text messages, FB messages and a few emails yesterday. In the message I just said "Hey [NAME]. The RSVP deadline for our vow renewal was yesterday and we don't have your response. Are you and [HUSBAND/WIFE] coming? We have a deadline with our venue and need to get our numbers in."

We sent out 39 invitations (total of 78 invited), and on the deadline date still had 26 guests who had not responded. Still waiting for some responses but right now we're at 41 acceptances, 28 declines and 11 MIAs. One person said she never received her invitation. The others just didn't bother to mail back the response card or said "Oh, I thought I sent it back to you."

ETA: That message I sent yesterday. The ones I sent the day of, I said "Our deadline is today . . ."

I still have about a week until the deadline, but I've already been messaging those who I haven't sent back their RSVP.

Here is along the lines of what I say: "Hello! I hope all is well with you and that you received our wedding invitation. I need to give the numbers to the venue in early July and so I would like to know if you will be attending our wedding. If you haven't yet sent back your RSVP, that is ok, just message me and let me know that you will be there and what dinner choice you would like. Thanks!"

This way if they didn't get the invitation they will say so. If they did but didn't send back the RSVP they will reply with their answer so that I get it right away instead of waiting.

If this is rude IDGAF at this point. The fact that they haven't sent back their RSVP in a timely manner is rude to me.

In general, I would wait until the RSVP deadline before contacting people. If you're concerned that a few important OOT guests may not have received their invites, I'm sure that you must be close to them so I wouldn't see a problem with giving them a call and just catching up with them. Then throw in that you hope to see them at the wedding.

Some people might be last minute, and not send your rsvp card until the deadline or the day before. I would give it another few days before contacting them.

Honestly, I think it's fine to check if you are really worried over it. I'd say something along the following lines:

"Hello (name),

I hope that you are doing well and are enjoying the start to the summer! I know that our RSVP deadline has not passed yet (insert date here), but I have just found out that a number of invitations were lost in the mail, and I wanted to ensure that you did receive your invite. If you did not receive an invite please know that you are absolutely invited, and I will see about resenting one (or providing information about the wedding in another way, whatever your backup plan is).

Sign off,

Your name"

I think it's fine to check-in. Our RSVP due date is July 1st and I sent a reminder to people via Facebook who hadn't responded yet on Tuesday. We're doing ours online so I included the link as well as my phone number. I honestly think some of our guests just forgot or assumed since they're family, they didn't need to.

Thanks everyone!

Wait until the RSVP date and nonchalantly ask the ones who hasn't rsvp'd if they got an invitation because you got word that a lot didn't get theirs and just ask if they are coming or not.

Did everyone get their save the dates? Most of my guests have mentioned getting their stds, or I have seen it on their fridge haha. U know how it is, ppl have busy lives. They will RSVP, just maybe haven't gotten to it yet.

I honestly have no idea if all those that didn't receive their invitation received their save the date.

I regretted making my RSVP deadline a little late. Some I have contacted a little earlier though because we have that kind of relationship where I can ask. Some I'm waiting until the deadline (more of the B list of guests as sad as it is to say). If they still don't RSVP after the deadline I will have to make some phone calls. To be honest, if they really cared it shouldn't be so hard to give you an answer but there's always a few difficult ones in the bunch which I'm going through right now actually.