Nicole
Just Said Yes January 2022

Invitation wording when groom's family isn't contributing financially

Nicole, on September 16, 2021 at 4:48 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 13
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Hello!

My fiance & I, along with my parents are paying for our wedding in January 2022. I know it's standard to write my parents name and then my name and fiance's, but is that wrong to not include his parents' names? I thought of just saying " you're invited to the wedding of " or something along those lines, but my parents are contributing a big amount and I feel they deserve to be recognized for that. To make it more complicated, his parents are divorced so it's two sets of non-contributing parents. Has anyone ever ran into this issue while writing their invitations? Thank you for any advice!


13 Comments

Latest activity by Lindsay, on September 17, 2021 at 10:27 PM
  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
    • Flag
    You could list your parents' names at the top to show they are the hosts, then put his parents further down after your names. For example:


    Mr. and Mrs. Robert and Jane Smith

    joyfully invite you to the marriage of their daughter

    Nicole (can put your middle name if you want)

    to

    (Your fiance's name)

    son of Mr. Kevin Jones and Mrs. Barbara White

    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    We did not want to write their names. We wrote “together with their families”
    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Agree with this!

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This sounds the most diplomatic
    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Master November 2054
    Jacks Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this. Currently in a position where my own daughter will be getting married and I will be paying for the wedding solely. I expect no help from her father or the family of the groom. I'm fine with that, but as the host, I feel a sense of responsibility to make sure the event goes well and with amazing hosting. I don't want guests thinking that other people have a say in how my daughter and her partner are choosing to spend their budget or host the event. The invitation is the clearest way of saying that.

    • Reply
  • EGD
    Devoted September 2022
    EGD ·
    • Flag

    I chose "together with their families" my parents have written every check to all the vendors, FH and I are paying for one vendor which is our transportation since I'm being picky with it. FH's parents claim they're going to be paying for something but we have seen no money from them and FH won't ask for specifics so we're not counting on any money but I know if I just put my parents name on the invite his mom will throw a fit so to avoid that we're just doing the "together with their families"

    • Reply
  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
    • Flag

    I'm putting "together with their families". Both sets of parents offered to help pay but my fiancé felt bad accepting money from his dad who owns his own business and is doing okay, but isn't retiring anytime soon. My dad said there's no way we weren't taking money from him so they're technically the only ones helping us, but I didn't think it was fair to exclude FH's parents because he was the one to tell them not to contribute. This just makes it easier and puts the focus more on our names as the people getting married and less on who has helped put money into it.

    • Reply
  • Nisha
    Expert May 2022
    Nisha ·
    • Flag

    We're not including parent's names. It's a 2nd wedding for us both and we're paying for it all. My mom and step dad aren't even coming. We're likely gonna start it "Micah & Nisha, along with their children" and leave it at that. That's our whole wedding party.

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    Both our parents contributed to our wedding and we did not include their names on the invitations at all. I think including family names is very old fashioned and traditional - fine if you want to go that route but not necessary to do.

    I would not, however, include the names of one set of parents and exclude others. That is bound to cause hurt feelings and draw attention to the fact that one family "stepped up" and the other didn't one or one is "more important" to the couple and the other less so. It's also traditional for the bride's family to pay for the wedding and the husband's not to (but to pay for a rehearsal dinner, if one is done). So I would read putting one set of names as intentionally spiteful to the family not contributing vs honoring the family that providing some financial assistance.

    I would skip the names entirely or put "together with their families." We actually used "together with their loved ones" because I feel closer to friends than blood relatives in a lot of ways, so it felt most appropriate.

    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Just Said Yes January 2022
    Nicole ·
    • Flag

    Thank you everyone for your input!! It's a tricky thing!!! Congratulations to those getting married and those who are already celebrating wedded bliss! God bless!!

    • Reply
  • Nancy
    Savvy March 2022
    Nancy ·
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    This is what we wrote. Both our parents gave the same amount!

    • Reply
  • Pat
    Devoted May 2023
    Pat ·
    • Flag

    We are both older, and third marriages ..... no parents (obviously) This is what we came up with,

    Because you have believed in us, Celebrated with us,Loved and Encouraged usWe invite you to join us as we exchange marriage vow
    • Reply
  • Lindsay
    Savvy June 2023
    Lindsay ·
    • Flag
    We’re paying for most of our wedding with some help from FH’s mother and my grandmother and we just skipped the other names completely and went with a more modern (we think, at least) “Lindsay and Matt are getting married”
    • Reply

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