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Beginner April 2020

Invitation wording nightmare

Ashley, on November 30, 2019 at 9:21 PM Posted in Planning 0 12

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So I created an invitation with my FH and was going to purchase it . Well my mom is somewhat throwing a fit because it does not have her name on the invitation. It says our names and “ together with their families” and so on. She thinks because her and my dad paid for majority of the wedding that she should have her name on the wedding invitation.
My dad doesn’t care at all (they aren’t together) . If I put my parents name on it , I feel I should put my future in laws name underneath my fiancé’s name. I just feel it will be tacky to include my parents and not his.
Plus the template I chose doesn’t have room to put it there. So I would have to find a different invitation. I’ve been having lots of issues with my mom and to the point where I just want to give up. All I want is to be married to my fiancé without all the drama Unfortunately it’s only coming from my mom. I’ve tried having conversations with her but it a seems it goes in one ear and out the other .

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Kaysey, on December 1, 2019 at 10:45 AM

Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on November 30, 2019 at 9:26 PM
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This seems like a weird thing to pitch a fit about. Stand your ground, girl! Your marriage is yours, not yours parents'
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on November 30, 2019 at 9:35 PM
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To be honest, I had never even thought about putting my parents names on my wedding invitation. All the invitations I saw online said the bride and groom‘s names ” Together with their families”. I thought that was the standard. But then my cousin got married this Summer, and my aunt made a huge deal about the fact her name was not on the invitation and she was paying for the majority of the wedding. After hearing all about that fiasco, I made sure my invitation had both sets of parents (mine and FH’s) names on it in order to avoid any drama.
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VIP May 2020
Destiny · on November 30, 2019 at 9:40 PM
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Id say screw it and just go with please join us for the wedding of so and so
Its what im doing anyway
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Beginner January 2022
Eva · on November 30, 2019 at 9:45 PM
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My mom also wanted her name on the invitation (yes, she’s also paying for the majority of it) which meant yeah, I put my FH’s parents names on it too. It is alot to edit here and there to make sure everything fits without looking over crowded. Fortunately, The template I liked best was able to be tweaked to include everything (we bought from Zazzle).

To be honest, invitations were never a big deal to me and I knew going in, they were a big deal to her, so I didn’t have any problem with it. But if you are absolutely in love with that format and you’ll regret picking something else, I would keep working on it with your mom. Maybe research other ways to honor parents during your wedding/planning process or give her a nice mother of the bride gift early 😉 something to show you are appreciative of all she’s doing for you, but you want YOUR template damnit. Lol. Good luck!
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VIP August 2020
Kathryn · on November 30, 2019 at 10:31 PM
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Girl I hear you - my mom was a sea of griping about dealing with her ex husband/my bio dad this holiday. Just one thing after another. But we avoided putting names on the invitations because of the fact that my parents were bound to grumble, and we're paying for most of it anyway.

Stand your ground on what you want. If you really want a simpler invitation, tell her you'll make sure her name is on the program or something. Or predominantly on the wedding website. Otherwise, you may want to juggle invitation templates till you find something you like. Good luck!
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on November 30, 2019 at 11:25 PM
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I understand where you’re coming from, but I don’t think she’s being ridiculous by asking for credit for paying for your wedding. That’s very typical to mention in the invitation. This isn’t a hill I would die on.
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Devoted August 2020
Valerie · on December 1, 2019 at 12:02 AM
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To be honest, if your parents are paying for most of the wedding they should be on the invite as they are basically hosting the party. If it was you and future spouse paying all or most, you could word it however you want. You should give credit where credit is due.
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on December 1, 2019 at 12:17 AM
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Oh geez! That’s an interesting request. Well is your mom buying the invitations as well? If not, then hit the “purchase” button on your oder and buy the invites as is. Once they’re purchased, there’s nothing that can be done.
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Super August 2021
Dierdra · on December 1, 2019 at 3:55 AM
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Most wedding that I've been to had the parents listed because they contributed to the overall cost. I dont thinknits unreasonable. But maybe she could've come about it a little nicer. Sorry for your stress! Sending you good vibes!
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VIP September 2021
Michelle · on December 1, 2019 at 6:16 AM
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Perfect response!!!
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on December 1, 2019 at 7:01 AM
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I see both sides. I think i am going to agree with the people that said since she's paying to put their names. Maybe in a smaller font. Maybe you can remove some of the other info? I will say that maybe you need to sit down with your mom after this regardless of what you decide and tell her that the way she is being is making you not want a wedding. A friend of mine told her mom at one point either you pay and I get my wedding or I pay and get my wedding. However be ready to start paying for your own wedding because she could go that route. Ultimately, you should have the wedding you want with less stress. When people are paying they ultimately feel they have more control. Hope things get better.
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Super February 2020
Kaysey · on December 1, 2019 at 10:45 AM
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I'm sorry you are going through this. I have to say I do understand where your mom is coming from. Because she is paying for a majority of it, I understand why she feels that she should have her name on the invitation, but I am, in no way, saying that you should put her name on it.

On the other hand, it's you and your FH's wedding and I feel that your invitation should have what you want on it. I would tell her that it's too late, you've already picked the invitations and your template doesn't allow the additional wording. I would say stand your ground with it. Often times, after the wedding most guests chuck the invitation in the trash anyway.
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