Hello darling bride friends! Idk if I'm looking for advice or more to vent, but here we go...
As my title indicates, I am in a bit of a pickle regarding certain invitations to extend to certain people for my November wedding. We will be sending out save the dates soon (70% of our list is out of state), so we are trying to finalize our guest list before we send them out.
To preface, I am VERY lucky to have my dad graciously paying for my wedding, and based on what I see everywhere, he's a bit of a unicorn in the sense that he is VERY strict on the fact that our wedding is OURS and no one else's, so we can invite whoever we want and design it however we want. I only mention this to set the scene and show we are not beholden to anyone's wallet when it comes to our guest list.
My beloved FH is the type of guy who would rather yank out his own teeth than risk hurting anyone's feelings when it comes to the guest list. I do not share this quality. I am a big believer in the idea that if we can picture our wedding day without them being there making a difference, they don't need an invite.
This brings me to aforementioned pickle. He is planning to invite his best man (childhood bff)'s parents and siblings. Normally I would have no objections to this. However, they aren't all exactly pleasant people to be around. I like his sister and her bf a ton, but we don't spend any time with them (she's in med school), and I don't really think they make the "make it or break it" cut, but I don't mind.
His brother, however, is immature, cannot handle his liquor to save his life, has been known to make a scene and act a fool at family weddings, and has a terrible temper. He has called me a See You Next Tuesday while drunk before. Needless to say, I don't want this dude there. Not only does he not make The Cut (FH doesn't even really like him), but he's used ugly words to describe me! I am TERRIFIED this fool is going to act like a dingbat, and that's not something I want to have to worry about.
FH is naturally horrified by what he has called me. But is still insisting we invite him. Why? BeCauSe hEs LiKe FaMiLy. Cuz we can't invite the others and not him (I don't follow his logic there. Cuz we can. Easily). Our venue has a 120 person capacity. There is definitely other people we would BOTH rather have there! I have cut family friends/siblings on my side out of necessity, even though I would love to have them there. Am I just a big old jerk??
I have tried to discuss this with him many ways (a sit down convo, calm discussion, frustration, tears, etc.), and I know if I really INSIST he will back down, but am I the weenie if I insist? It's his day too! And I really do see his point! Do I have my dad step in? What say you, lovelies?