Invitation for Guests Not Attending After std

Just send an invitation, no need to address their personal lives.

It would be inappropriate to comment on the reasons. Since they said they are not coming, you either respect that and send no further invitation. Or you send one that acknowledges you do remember they declined, but are sending the invitation in case their previous plans have changed, and they are now free to attend . . . . You never mention what specific plans. And they need not say what they are actually doing. Just, we know you had other plans at the time we sent STD's, but in case your plans have changed, we would be happy to see you. . . It is a good place for a one size fits all message. Otherwise people will think k they need to discuss specifics, or that you should mind your own business. Or, perhaps worse, you will get a long detailed story of their life, which you really do not want .

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the perspective! I initially intended to just note the “in case your plans change”, but realized that that might not be appropriate for those expecting the baby. Where we are having a small event, I (for better or worse) know all of the specifics of what’s going on with most guests. I had mostly just wanted to add a personal touch that acknowledges that I remembered. I definitely wouldn’t have put specifics in the notes and think the “plans change” could mostly cover, but now am questioning whether this is thoughtful or is just awkward.

Experience has taught me that if you individualize too much, it ends often as either too much personal information, or else they feel put on the spot and start trying to justify their decisions not to come. So host's intention of of being sensitive ends up with both sides in a politeness quagmire. My godchild at 22 innocently got I to this before invited,to the since some declined at STD time. And ended up with conversations like, "well actually, my sister Sandra pushed her wedding back 6 months a month back, so that is why we were not going to yours, but could now, except then my girlfriend said good, now we can finally go to meet her parents, and she can go to a baby shower while we are at her family home, ..so we did cancel plans but then we made others and her mother will be mad if blah blah blah. Throw sensitivity out the window. Go nice, but not inquisitive. My goddaughter called 7 such people on the phone. It was like asking 81 teenagers why they had not done their chores, and trying to nail them down on when they would do them. Forget it .
If things have changed , we want you to know you are still welcome. Just send us the RSVP card, either way, coming or not coming. Thank you. Done.