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Just Said Yes October 2019

Invitation etiquette

Caroline, on December 31, 2019 at 1:07 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
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Due to having a large extended family, my mom is looking to invite many cousins I have never let. (She has been invited to about 50% of their kids weddings). I don’t think half of them will come, and I am worried it will look life a gift grab. Is there any way I can note on their invitations that I don’t want a gift if they aren’t coming? I know that sounds impolite as I say it, but I really want a fun or proper way of noting that thought.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Cassandra7, on January 1, 2020 at 12:57 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Gifts aren't a necessity either way so I don't see why there's any reason to note that they don't have to send gifts.

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  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
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    We sent our save the dates and didn't request a RSVP at that time but a few people let us know right off the bat that they wouldn't be able to make it. We are choosing not to send invites to those people so that they don't feel obligated to purchase a gift for us. You could consider doing it that way? Just an option.

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  • C
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Caroline ·
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    I like that idea, certainly less tacky than a note addressing it!
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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I would just put your foot down and not invite them!

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  • C
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Caroline ·
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    I guess I am more concerned about the looks of it. Gifts certainly aren’t necessary, but coming from a more traditional family, I know invitees will feel obligated, which is what I am trying to avoid/resolve.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I don't think you need to say anything like that. If they want to gift, that's their choice Smiley smile

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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    This exactly.
    We also have a huge extended family, but I chose to only invite the specific ones I felt closer to.
    Tbh, I'd love to see the ones that I chose. But if they can't make it [like my 80/90 something great aunt and uncle who live 10 hours away], and they choose to still send a gift, I'm ok with it.
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  • Cassandra7
    Super August 2006
    Cassandra7 ·
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    Your mother doesn't get to invite people to your wedding unless she is paying for it.

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