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Dedicated April 2019

Invitation Attire

Emily, on November 25, 2018 at 9:20 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11

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So I know attire goes on the bottom right of invite, but my conundrum is wording.

We're going for black tie, but don't want to require it. A lot of our friends have tuxes and ballgowns on hand. So this is a great excuse to wear them. Other friends would love the chance to use rent the runway. And I know some consider "black tie optional" more informal. Not what we're going for. We're going for black tie if you have it or want to, but don't feel bad showing up in a nice cocktail dress or suit if you can't swing it (or feel free to put the kids in something a less formal).

Something I saw recently was "Black Tie Encouraged". I think that more conveys what we're looking at, but I've never seen the wording on an actual invite so don't know if it's uncooth.

Thanks in advance for your help!

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11 Comments

Latest activity by LB, on November 26, 2018 at 8:00 AM

Dedicated April 2019
Emily · on November 25, 2018 at 9:21 PM
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Spelling correction: uncouth, grumble auto correct, grumble.
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VIP August 2019
Tamara · on November 25, 2018 at 9:26 PM
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Oh, I like black tie encouraged. I put formal/semi formal...I hope I don't see summer dresses!
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VIP January 2019
Megan · on November 25, 2018 at 9:40 PM
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What your describing is literally black tie optional. That implies that you should wear black tie but don’t feel obligated. But a lot of people on here will also make sure to mention that if you say that, make sure you’re providing the level of service expected at a black tie wedding.
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Champion October 2018
Kelly · on November 25, 2018 at 9:42 PM
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Are you having a black tie wedding? Multi course plated meal, full band, top shelf open bar, valet parking, evening wedding? If so it’s fine to put black tie on the invite. I wouldn’t put it if you just want people to dress up but aren’t hosting a black tie wedding. Attire (besides black tie because that indicates a level of hosting not just attire) should never go on the invite. You can list attire as formal or black tie optional on a wedding website or convey it with the formality of your invitations.
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Dedicated April 2019
Emily · on November 25, 2018 at 9:47 PM
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Yes to everything but the band, can't find a band that can pull off our favorite music well since it ranges from Vivaldi to Ska & 80s punk to classic rock...
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Champion October 2018
Kelly · on November 25, 2018 at 9:49 PM
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I would leave it off the invitation then. We had a very formal wedding but had a DJ as well. I put formal/black tie optional on our website. Our invitations were engraved. Everyone figured it out and dressed appropriately. Some people in tuxes and long dresses and some in cocktail.
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Mim · on November 25, 2018 at 10:10 PM
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Unless you are having an actual black tie event, you don't say anything about attire unless the venue has requirements. Your venue, time of day, and style of invitation should convey the formality of the wedding.
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Savvy February 2021
Kristin · on November 25, 2018 at 10:21 PM
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I am having an old Hollywood theme and want everyone to have the gala formal dinner party attire. I hope everyone does dress the part. Pictures would look great.
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Dedicated November 2019
Stephanie · on November 25, 2018 at 11:08 PM
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I recently went to a wedding and the wording was “dress to impress”. I wore a gown, hubby rented a tux and everyone else was dressed the same. We didn’t expect a five course meal, valet parking, etc. We just got dressed up and ready for a good time.
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Devoted March 2019
Edward · on November 25, 2018 at 11:22 PM
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We are not requiring any attire. Im just going to be happy seeing my family and friends on my big day.
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Champion November 2016
LB · on November 26, 2018 at 8:00 AM
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Since you arent actually hosting a black tie event you shouldn't put anything on the invite. Attire has no place on an invitation unless you are hosting a true black tie event. Put "Black Tie Encouraged" on your website if you must.
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