Invitation Addresses

I addressed our Save the Dates informally (John and Jane Smith) and our invitations formally (Mr. & Mrs. John Smith)

Doing everything formally except for thank you cards lol

Formally on invitations!

View Quoted Comment What did you do for your unmarried couples?


I ask because before we were engaged, we were together for five years (bought a house and all) and we got an invitation for FH and Guest from close friends. It was kind of insulting for me. So we are carefully wording our invites to specifically read both people’s names in long term relationships (that we’re close to).
(If they break up, it would be very clear which of them would not come given the longevity of the relationship of the original friend)

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My FFIL and his wife have different last names so for their invitation, I addressed it as "Mr. John Smith & Mrs. Jane Williams". On their save the date, it was just "John Smith and Jane Williams".

But another example, my uncle also lives with my grandmother (same last name, but obviously not married lol). So for their invitation, it was:

"Mrs. Jane Smith

Mr. John Smith"

instead of their names together. I had to Google that one, I wasn't sure how to address it at first

Informal. The whole "Mrs John Smith" thing makes me cringe. Plus just addressing people by name is easier than trying to figure out proper etiquette for unique situations.

View Quoted Comment I’m kind of leaning this way! I think for grandparents and such we’ll do it formally (my grandmother is the picture of Emily Post etiquette), but for people our age we might just do it informally.


Then again, I would hate if my grandma found out I did that 😂😂

We had inner and outer envelopes so for the outer envelopes we addressed them formally, but for the inner we addressed them informally.

I did a mix. I personally hate when i'm addressed super formally by my direct peers (cousins, friends, etc) so for those groups I tended to go more casual "John and Jane Smith" or "John Smith and Jane Doe". H's family is always super formal about stuff like that so to his side of the family it was "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Mr John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe".

They dont' all have to be the same so I just used whatever felt correct for the individual invite.

View Quoted Comment Haha I've definitely heard of people doing it formally for a select few (older) guests. I'm sure most of our friends would feel the same way I do about the formal addressing 🤷‍♀️

View Quoted Comment I think I might go this way!

View Quoted Comment We have our guest list and addresses loaded into Zola, so we addresses per their recommendations.


Married couples were Mr. & Mrs. LastName
Unmarried couples or married couples with different last names were Mr. FirstName LastName & Ms. FirstName LastName.
Single folks with a guest were Ms. FirstName LastName & Guest.

The invitation should set the tone and express the formality of your wedding. If you are having a backyard wedding with catered BBQ and paper plates then informal would be fine. If you are having a plated sit down formal dinner then formal addressing would be appropriate.

View Quoted Comment Awesome! And I love your name...I would also like to be given all the pups.

View Quoted Comment Good call!!

We did formally. We had engraved invitations so it would’ve been weird if we had formal invites address informally.

View Quoted Comment I bet those were gorgeous!


We are actually hand addressing as I have great handwriting. My grandmother actually said to do this as it is the “old” way, haha! I know that’s typically taboo, but we are having a low key brewery wedding so we don’t mind the informal aspect of this.
Secretly I wish we could afford calligraphy just because my southern heart loves it so much!

We did more informal names for our STDs and will be doing the same for our invitations. We have many people on our guest list who have different last names, but who are part of the same party, so it makes it easier. I also really don’t like Mrs. Husband’s First Name Last Name deal, so I prefer to address everyone by their personal first name. Photo as an example of what we did for STDs.

View Quoted Comment Love how you did those!!

I did our STDs formally! It’s the only time I’ll ever mail things formally 😂