Introduction and Mixed Culture Wedding

My son and dil had two ceremonies, a Hindu one (the Monday before) and an American one.

And I got to wear a sari

I've done many Indian/Western weddings and they have happened in a few different ways.

For some couples, there is a traditional Indian ceremony first (it's long, it's big, it's usually in Sanskrit...). It starts in the morning with a Barat (I'm sure I spelled that wrong), the Indian ceremony, then lunch, then a break, then a Western ceremony (and I usually sign the license) and then a more American style reception.

I'd say this, not to be crass, but to be realistic; in that scenario, you're looking at hundreds of people being entertained for a full day (not even counting a henna ceremony or a rehearsal dinner....). Her contributions should be substantial if you're thinking this is a plan.

A different way to do this is to do a blended ceremony with an officiant like me, elements of both upbringings and cultures, possible a dress change and an American style wedding. And not hundreds of guests.

I think you have to decide, between the two of you, what you want to do. Agreeing to a full Indian ceremony is not like including a guest reading; it's a major commitment of time, money, space and pageantry. And a horse. There is always a horse. No, I'm not kidding.

I've seen people do a lot of different things! I've seen two completely separate weddings on different weekends, I've seen a Friday cultural wedding followed by a Saturday American wedding (or vice versa), and I've seen people have a traditional cultural ceremony followed by an American reception where the bride has changed outfits between the two. There are a lot of different ways you can do this!

My opinion is that the wedding will be the beginning of our lives together so I think making it a mix of both cultures would be more representative of our future. FH seems to agree with me but doesn't think FMIL will. FILs, my parents, and FH and I are all getting together this weekend to discuss things and I just don't want to have my idea steamrolled because FMIL is a very strong-willed woman.

I'm having two weddings so that neither side has to compromise. Fortunately I will only have to pay for and organize the American side where as my family overseas will be hosting the ethnic wedding (I'm not even 100% sure what all the traditions are).

Disclaimer: I'm the minority one in the relationship. I do consider my American wedding the real wedding because I live here now. The other second wedding more so that the entire side of my extended family can do whatever it is they want to celebrate it properly in their/my culture (and also so my extended family doesn't have to travel to the US).

FH, who is a 4th generation American was a little worried at first to be flying to the other side of the world to do this second wedding among people he doesn't know and whose language he doesn't speak. However, my family are immigrants and we spent a great deal of time assimilating to his culture so he can deal with my ethnic heritage for a week.

ETA: I'd only be against having two weddings if we were paying more for the second one than the first, or if both weddings were cost prohibitive.