Intimate wedding ceremony

We had only traditional vows at our ceremony, not ones we wrote ourselves. Frankly, I think our guests appreciated it. We were using ones that were timeless. Often, ones that are written by the couple involve either inappropriate humor, or things that are meaningful only to the two of them.

I think it's more meaningful and sweet to keep your letters private. Then you can really say what you want to without worrying about what everyone thinks. Some people even put the letter in a box with a bottle of wine to open on their one-year anniversary, and they do this as part of the ceremony. That could be a way to keep it private and romantic.

The times I've heard "written by them" vows I usually end up rolling my eyes. They go on forever, are full of "inside jokes" that nobody gets, or are, just...well...corny. I prefer the timeless classic version. My officiant sent us a document, with versions from all different religions, and non-religious options as well. Most are very similar but have a few different words or phrases, or are ordered differently. We can choose whichever we like, or mix and match to create something we like. I'd keep the super personal stuff between the two of you.