Intimate vs Extravagant

Okay ladies, who can relate?? So there’s a part of me that wants a smaller and more intimate wedding, and then again I also want an over the top raging party type wedding 🤦🏽‍♀️ Anyone else feel this way?? 😂 I’m hopeless!
I want it to be romantic, meaningful and really just about US. But I also want there to be lots of celebrating, cutting loose and having fun! Our guest list currently has 170 people and I know it’s going to be nearly impossible to make rounds and actually spend time with everyone there - It seems a bit overwhelming. My fiancé also isn’t big on being vulnerable and open, and says he would be too nervous for us to write and read off our own vows if that many people were there and we had all those eyes starring at us! I get where he’s coming from, I’m not much on crowds either, but we both have big families and lots of close friends. Id hate to feel like I wasn’t including someone on the guest list, and the 170 was after we narrowed it down and included everyone’s kids and plus-ones. If I’m being honest though, I could care less if only a fraction of those people were actually there. I’m just the type that doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and give everyone the opportunity to witness our unity and celebrate with us.
I don’t know if y’all can help me or not, maybe these type of problems are meant for therapy 🤷🏽‍♀️😂 I just wonder if anyone else is stressing over the same thing.. what are we gonna do??