Interracial marriage

This time around everyone is nice to me and vice versa. I got a lot of grief about my first interracial relationship, and then I had an ex boyfriend a few years ago whose mother made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me regardless of how hard I tried to build ties with her. I’m sure she jumped for joy when we broke up.

I’m the product of multiple generations of interracial relationships. My family is like the United Nations so none of them care that my FH and I are different “colors”. Thank goodness for my grandparents who paved the way! My dads mother was African American and his father was white German. My moms mother was white British, Irish and her father is African American.

It’s 2019. You should be with the person who loves and respects you and your family should respect that! Color is skin deep. Some have more melanin than others but that doesn’t make any difference with love.

My FH is from Guatemala and my whole wedding will be bilingual in English and Spanish so both sides can understand everything. I think it’s beautiful to see families mixed together and getting along.

If you have specific people giving you a problem, let it be known that you’re grown, you’re in love and it’s your life. If they don’t respect your relationship and your right to be married to who you want, then they don’t have to be there to bear witness to it.

Good luck!

FH has been around for almost 5 years, so anyone that’s wanted to say something has had their chance, and TRUST ME when I say I would and will cut them off in an instance. I don’t need that kind of negativity in our lives. All that matters to us is his parents love me, and my parents adore him, and we are completely in love with each other. That’s all that matters.

Ours is technically interracial, but since he is so light skinned, most people don't notice. He is Greek, I am whiter than white. His whole family (aside from his step dad who is super white like me) is dark skinned and looks like they're from Greece. My FH must have gotten all the lighter Gene's, because he's the only one that is not consistently tan. If he goes out in the sun, he easily tans, though. We haven't gotten any grief about our differences (other than our age).

Sounds like nothing has happened so far, right? (Since you said you were worried like how they might behave.)

For us, his family's great and my family.... Is maybe "better than you'd expect" from a white southern family. We got through most of it within the first 5 years of dating, and now sometimes my partner will text my Dad or FB with him. It's nuts.


But like you said there's still some extended ones that now might have a wedding invite. I guess take comfort that these are clearly people you don't spend a lot of regular time with, so you won't have to put up with it much. Maybe ask your mom or dad (whatever side they are) to get a feel of whether there is a problem - and if there is, your parent can make it clear that they need to keep it to themselves on the wedding day.

Congrats!

I'm sorry you're going through this. I can understand so much of the stress you must be feeling. My last relationship before FH (this guy who I thought I was going to marry) was interracial and his mother HATED me. The rest of his family was awesome though. And in turn, my dad and his sister hated the ex for nothing more than the color of his skin. I mean it's 2019, am I right people? Now my FH happens to be the same color as I am, everybody wants to jump back on board and be in my life again. NOT TODAY. If possible, I wouldn't invite the ones who will cause issues (I know that's not always an option) or at least express your concerns to them. Let them know that behavior of that sort will not be tolerated. You don't deserve to feel that type of stress leading up to your wedding, and you and FH don't deserve that kind of treatment either.

So far everyone is accepting. I have a lot of family coming from NJ, who will probably not meet FH until the wedding day. They've seen pics of us together, but haven't asked any questions or commented which I could careless about. My immediate family has met and love him and that's all the matters to me. Even if they did not like or care for FH, I would still marry him because he's the best. I never see my family from NJ, so their opinions dont matter to me. My parents have told me multiple times if I'm happy they're happy.

My family is from Mexico I’m the 1st generations to be born in America I’ve always thought I would either marry a Mexican or an American. boy was I wrong! I’m marrying someone all the way from China!! He came to America to study for college which is how we met. Since most of his family is still in China I wanted to try my hardest to incorporate their culture in the wedding. It was important to me to make them feel welcomed especially since for most people it would be their 1st time in America and his family has been so accepting as well if I never would have mentioned I wanted to include their culture I think they would have been fine not incorporating it. My family on the other hand is expecting a more Mexican wedding we were planning to have the ceremony in English, Spanish, and Chinese but we felt like that would have made the ceremony way to long so we are cutting out the Spanish. I have been getting complaints about that since the last 2 family wedding they did it in English and Spanish and used more Spanish than English (but that’s because their mom and dad don’t speak English) my dad is also forcing a mariachi band to come even thought I hate them (thankfully I convinced my sister to have them come to the rehearsal dinner not the actual wedding) oddly I have been getting weird looks for the wedding I’m planning. we are personalizing our wedding to our wants and needs so it’s very different from any other wedding out there.

I am getting married to a white guy. My dad is black but him and my mother were never married. She ended up also marrying a white guy so from the jump, her and my family have always been supportive with interracial anything. My mom's side of the family is originally from Belize (next door neighbors to Guatemala) so there's definitely all kinds of races going on over there. Extended family or not, I wouldn't worry about it but I understand why you are.

My family was fine with it because my parents are an interracial couple as were my grandparents. His family had questions about my Mexican background (I have light skin) but most of the questions and culture clashes have been about religion not race

where it it will come up is that different cultures have different wedding traditions and etiquette. What one culture thinks is rude isn’t rude at all in another

questions I’d ask are: what time will people be expected to arrive? Will the ceremony start at the time on the invitation? Will guests who aren’t invited be expected at the wedding? How many? How long is a wedding? Talking about that before hand will open up some expectations that you may not know the other had

I completely understand this. My immediate family still doesnt accept the fact that we are even dating. My mothers family is extremely racist and almost everyone disowned me after I started dating my FH, the only one who speaks to me is my uncle and my mother- although my mother doesnt even acknowledge FH when he's around. It's incredibly stressful to not really have a family backing me up, but I know I love him and if my family can't accept that it's their loss.
The same goes for your family. Anyone who can't accept your relationship isn't worth being in your future. Best of luck, I hope your family comes around!!!!!!

View Quoted Comment That sounds terrible 😟 I’m sorry you have to deal with that, it must be stressful.

If a family member doesn’t accept your relationship because they don’t like your FH on a personal level (because of how he treats you, for example) that’s one thing. But family not accepting your relationship solely because it’s interracial (which makes them racist btw) is absolutely unacceptable. And I agree, you don’t need people like that around you & in your future.

I'm in this situation except my family is completely accepting and his parents wont even acknowledge me. His father dismissed me within 2 minutes of meeting me and his step mom refused to talk to me. They don't accept that I'm Black. It has hurt my feelings and caused resentment. A bit of a touchy subject between us because his parents did the same to his first wife and he doesnt like having to deal with it again.

I’m dealing with this right now I’m getting married in November this year and his family didn’t like me the second they found out I was hispanic. I’m fairly light skinned and I’m half Mexican with Central American and German so I’m mixed. His mom originally thought I was Italian when she saw a picture of me when me and my fiancé were first dating. She did a 180 when he told her I was half Mexican his family is of German decent btw. His family is very racist to me and that’s the only reason they do not like me. I’ve never given them a reason so I’m not very close with them unfortunately because they make racist remarks. I have a very large hispanic family on my moms side so we are very close and family oriented. My fiancé is not close with his twin sister or family because she is just like them racist and he has very different view then them.They want me to go back to Mexico despite me being born here in CA lol ignorance. My mom tells me she can’t imagine how it’s going to be when we have children not looking forward to any possibly racist remarks of my future children.

Im dealing with the same situation

View Quoted Comment Are his parents coming to the wedding?

View Quoted Comment So are they coming to the wedding? What are you planning to do?

My fiance is Dominican and I'm Polish/Slovenian. My family loves my fiance.

His parents are coming to the wedding his sister might go my fiancé didn’t want to invite anyone on his side because the wedding is mainly me and my family which will be heavily hispanic so there will be hispanic music so they most likely will have a fit about having to be surrounded by my family and having to deal with the music. I hope there are no fights of them saying something racist my family know how his family is and still except them into the family with open arms my family has nothing, but love for anyone. So that has been stressing me out. I told him he had to invite them despite them not getting along because that’s his family I get the idea his parents think that I’m the one who’s keeping him from them since we don’t get along which is not the case I’ve put so much effort trying to get to know them despite knowing they hate me and my family which is really hard to do, but I do it because I love my fiancé. It’s hard because I never would have thought I would be in the situation of having my future in laws hate me.

View Quoted Comment No, his parents wont be coming to the wedding. They want nothing to do with it or me and honestly I dont want them there either.