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Dedicated September 2019

Intense germophobe mom wants to bring baby to rehearsal dinner

Jessica, on September 4, 2019 at 2:52 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 9
This mom is a great friend who had a baby a few months ago. She's always going on and on about how nobody is allowed to touch her baby, not family, not friends, no touching of socks, no standing too close, and not breathing too close. It's...a lot. She has every right to do so, but its gotten so intense that I want nothing to do with her son, because all I would think of was the liability. It's sad but of all my friends kids that I love so much, I feel nothing towards him due to lack of bonding. This is the same mom that hugs and shakes hands with everyone and then touches her baby without purell or washing hands (eye roll).
Anyway...for such a germophobe who doesnt want anyone to as much as look at her kid the wrong way, she wants to bring him to my rehearsal dinner! Like, what? She has child care here and is using it for the wedding. I almost feel like she wants to sit there at my RD with an adorable baby that everyone wants to see or hold or what-have-you, and reprimand everyone (my loved onee) who doesn't abide by whatever rules she's set.
Anyway, we may be having another baby there, but I dont want the liability of her baby there because if he gets sick then we know who she will blame, and I dont want to think about that crap the night before my wedding. How do I tell her that she cant bring her baby?? Is saying "I'd be too worried about exposing him to germs" too passive aggressive? What would you say? I guess this is part gripe, part wwyd!


Latest activity by Amber, on September 5, 2019 at 12:21 AM
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    Well, I think the way you have worded it is good, but I would totally put it back on the mother, since she doesn't follow her own rules, but expects everyone else to. If you are ok with her bringing the baby, say something like "well it's fine as long as you don't object to him being exposed to everyone there. I know how you feel about germs!" Then she can decide for herself.

    • Reply
  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
    • Flag
    I would allow her to bring the baby. While I agree that she sounds a little much, she’s not wrong in trying to keep her baby healthy. You have no idea the germs people carry around with them every day. She is well within her right to ask people not to touch her infant. However if you exclude only her child, you may be ending your friendship. The only thing you can do is tell her that you are ok if she doesn’t bring the baby because you don’t want him/her getting sick.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    There’s no polite way to tell her that you don’t want her child there because she’s being a good mom, especially since you’re allowing others to bring their children.
    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    This is her issue, not yours. Just let her bring the baby. Seems like you’re trying to make a mountain of a molehill because you don’t agree with her approach, but if she maintains her approach, it’s unlikely the baby will get sick, and if it does, it’s not your party’s fault, it’s her fault for bringing him. But he’s probably not going to get sick and if he does she’s probably not going to blame you. If he did and she did THEN discuss the issue directly. But to do anything otherwise is a premature reaction to a hypothetical situation.
    • Reply
  • Alexis
    Dedicated April 2021
    Alexis ·
    • Flag
    I’d say don’t let the baby come.
    • Reply
  • Allaura
    Devoted April 2021
    Allaura ·
    • Flag

    If she's a really good friend I'd tell her straight. "Look I don't want to feel liable if your baby gets sick or anything like that and lately that's how you have been making me feel. So if you're ok with him being around people that you do not know or that are unaware of your preferences then go ahead and bring him"

    If she's just like a friend that you don't talk to that honestly to then I'd say "Just to warn you, there will be people there that may not be aware of your preferences and if you're ok with that then I'd love to have (insert baby name here) at my RD."

    I totally get not wanting people to get germs on babies but I think she's being very extra. Especially if she's hugging people and then spreading their germs to her baby.

    • Reply
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
    • Flag
    Its 2019, people should know to not touch babies. Crikey.
    • Reply
  • A
    Expert January 2020
    Abby ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This is perfectly said!!!
    • Reply
  • Amber
    Devoted April 2022
    Amber ·
    • Flag
    I’d tell her not to bring the baby and for the reasons you already stated. If she’s a close enough friend to be invited to the RD, then you should be able to tell her the truth. She’s actually not doing her kid any favors by not exposing him to germs. That’s the only way babies build their immune systems! This kid is going to get sick every other week when it enters daycare or school.
    • Reply

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