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Just Said Yes April 2016

Informal, Not-hosted Rehearsal dinner?

April, on January 29, 2016 at 1:30 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 27

FH and I are paying for our wedding mostly ourselves, with the exception of my parents paying for the catering. His family has said they cannot/will not contribute financially. That being said, with the rehearsal dinner typically put on by the Groom's family, and our lack of funds to pay for another...

FH and I are paying for our wedding mostly ourselves, with the exception of my parents paying for the catering. His family has said they cannot/will not contribute financially. That being said, with the rehearsal dinner typically put on by the Groom's family, and our lack of funds to pay for another party, would it be tacky or inappropriate to have the rehearsal dinner be optional and for everyone to pick up their own tab?

I was thinking that we would let everyone know ahead of time that it is not hosted, and I would get a head count and reserve a large table at a restaurant. I see it more as an invitation to come out and meet us for dinner after the rehearsal, and would invite some out-of-town guests to join as well (probably no more than 20 people total).

Money saving strategy or rude and inappropriate?

27 Comments

  • MrsMcDougall
    VIP May 2016
    MrsMcDougall ·
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    +1 for Pizza. That's what my mom did for her wedding. I'm having a taco bar or taking our BP to a restaurant to keep costs down for mine.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    There is nothing 'typical' about who pays for what anymore. Almost no one needs a rehearsal any more, but if you do one, you need to provide dinner, even a very casual one (which is, in my mind, completely better than a big formal thing). One of my all time faves was a destination wedding rehearsal at a quirky pool hall with appetizers, pizza and beer. It was great.

    I'd bag the rehearsal. Unless your venue coordinator is a complete neophyte and your officiant is doing their first wedding, they can line you up and people can walk out in some semblance of order. It's really an not that hard. We generally do a run through on the day of the wedding. It works out fine.

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  • Rebecca
    Master November 2015
    Rebecca ·
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    Way to take advice well, April Smiley smile my husband's parents are both deceased so we hosted our own rehearsal dinner. We didn't do any toasts, just told people the info and had a meal and wine. I'm a huge fan of gourmet pizza and beer rehearsal dinners - they're delicious and inexpensive.

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  • Jeleebeenz
    VIP September 2015
    Jeleebeenz ·
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    If you have a rehearsal you need to feed these people and thank them. If you can't afford it just skip the rehearsal and problem solved.

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  • MeetTheHamiltons
    Master April 2017
    MeetTheHamiltons ·
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    We are funding our own wedding as well. I've been looking into cheap options for a rehearsal dinner, I've found that Bertucci's has a nice private room and their party menu is very affordable, $15 pp.

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    If you must have a rehearsal, do a rehearsal lunch instead of rehearsal dinner -- that should be less expensive. If you do it before the rehearsal, people will have less time to drink & run up the bill.

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  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
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    No, its rude. I would suggest just don't have a rehearsal -- then the RD is not necessary. If you really need a rehearsal, order a bunch of pizzas, make a big salad, and buy some 2-liters of soda. A RD does not need to be fancy!

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