Incorporating a "blended" family in wedding ceremony

Could both your dad and step dad walk you down the isle, or is that not an option? Also during father/daughter dance, start with your dad then switch to your step dad. That way everyone is included. Most importantly its YOUR day, what do YOU want? Explain to them you don't want to have your wedding filled with petty drama. Good luck!

I am in a similar situation to you, and I hope that your parents, unlike my dad, are more reasonable people and can respect whatever you decide.

I had a conversation with my dad last October and told him that I wanted to include my stepdad in the ceremony at my wedding. He has always had a civil relationship with my stepdad and seemed to like him, so I wasn't expecting a completely sour response. I was about to tell him that my stepdad would walk me from my bridal suite to the ceremony space and hand me off to my dad at the top of the aisle. My stepdad would then walk along the outside and greet us again at the front with my mom when my biological dad would give me away to my fiance.

Before I had the chance to explain what it is I wanted to do, he completely went off on me and I haven't heard from him since. I acknowledge that this may have hurt his feelings, but I was being honest in what I wanted to do, and make sure I included everyone who was important to me.

I hope that if you want to include both your stepdad and your dad, that all parties involved will be reasonable and respect your decision. At the end of the day, it is your day and those who love you will show up and respect your decision.

The only advice I have received is that no matter who is in attendance that day, the only people that matter are myself and my fiance. The important people will be there. Good Luck!

I'm having two father daughter dances. One with my dad and one with my stepdad. They have both been involved in my life and my mom remarried when I was 18 so I don't feel like I'm hurting anyone's feelings by just having my dad walk me down the aisle. But I understand why they would feel hurt, if your stepfather is the one who raised you he should have certain roles at your wedding that your father would not. Talk to your mom and stepdad about your feelings about not including your father, but make sure your stepfather has the bigger role.

I am going to have all of my step parents (my dad has remarried a couple of times and I have great relationships with all of my "moms") in the processional and have each couple do a short reading as well. I can't take the traditional father/daughter things away from my dad or make him share, so I think this will be a good way to include everyone and honor them.

Thanks for all the suggestions. The walking down the aisle will be an issue for sure, as the catalyst to the hurt feelings was a suggestion of a blessing that had the word "nurture" in it. My mother feels that my father did nothing of the sort, and feels that he should not have equal standing with her and my stepdad. I get her point, but I am now frustrated because I'm a back at the starting block. I decided to omit the blessing, as the whole situation has made me turn sour on the concept, and I'm tempted to not have any family members included in the ceremony because then I don't have to worry about hurt feelings. Than you for the suggestions and please keep them coming. And as for you Amanda, I'm sorry? to hear your struggle with your dad! I hope things work out!