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Just Said Yes December 2023

Including Step Parents

Izzy, on July 10, 2022 at 12:58 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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My fiancé and I are newly engaged! I am so excited to start planning my big day. I am a big people pleaser and that will definitely be a downfall to me planning my own wedding.😫 With that being said, I would like to include my step parents in some way throughout my ceremony. I was going to have my step-mom ushered into the ceremony along with my mother, my MIL, and our grandmothers (we are VERY close). This quickly offended my mom and she wants my step dad to be a part of the wedding, which I had already considered. However, she suggested that him and my biological father walk me down the aisle. That moment seems very sentimental for me and my dad (especially since we are so close). I just don’t feel comfortable taking that moment from my dad. My step-dad and I aren’t super close either. He’s been in my life for 5 years and I’ve never been crazy about him. I just want to include him someway in the ceremony that will keep everyone from being pissed off. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Also, congratulations to my fellow “brides to be”! Happy planning! 🥳💗

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Paige, on July 11, 2022 at 10:51 AM

Master October 2023
Cece · on July 10, 2022 at 2:02 AM
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Could you have stepdad usher mom down the aisle during the ceremony?
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Super September 2022
Ashlee · on July 10, 2022 at 8:54 AM
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Can he do some sort of reading?
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Super September 2022
Sarah · on July 10, 2022 at 9:05 AM
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I would have your step dad walk with your mom.
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on July 10, 2022 at 9:39 AM
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It's unreasonable for any family figure to try to fix relationships with a party. However, it's not new. Now is the time to get comfortable with boundaries because being a people pleaser after you're married will cause stress on your new family. Rewrite who you think you are by practicing the person you want to be. Remember "No" is a complete sentence.
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Dedicated October 2023
Rachel · on July 10, 2022 at 12:16 PM
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My 1st marriage I had my dad walk me down the aisle and then I did the father/daughter dance with my step dad. That might be an idea for you! 😊
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on July 11, 2022 at 8:35 AM
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Have your stepfa walk down the aisle with your mother. Her suggestion is completely out of line and you'll clearly end up regretting it. Your stepfa is a social unit with your mother, treat them as such.
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Super October 2019
W-K · on July 11, 2022 at 10:38 AM
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I agree with everyone else. Have your step dad escort your mom to her seat. Give him a bout and call it a day. We didn't have anyone usher anyone because our wedding was small but I gave pin on flowers to each of our "important" people even if they weren't included in the ceremony. It made them feel special. This is what I did with my step mom because we're not close even though she's been in my life since I was 7.
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VIP October 2022
Paige · on July 11, 2022 at 10:51 AM
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Being a people-pleaser is a hard habit to break, but this is the time to do it. No matter what you do, SOMEONE is going to have a contrary opinion, not like something, or want you to do something else. You can't please everyone, so do what makes YOU happy. If you only want your biological father walking you down the aisle, then that's where you put your foot down. Your step-father can walk your mom down the aisle, do a reading, do a toast/ blessing at the reception, or some other role (which YOU decide on), but your mom doesn't get to call the shots.
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