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Just Said Yes May 2015

Including my FH brother's wife in wedding party?

Elaine and Ryan, on August 14, 2013 at 12:17 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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Should I ask my fiance's brothers wife to be a bridesmaid? I have known her 6 years, we started dating the brothers around the same time. My FH has 3 brothers and no sisters, so she is his sister in-law. She has a toddler who I also want to be our ring bearer and would feel great if their whole family could be in our wedding party. (brother, wife & baby) We get along great, but I am just wondering if it would be weird to ask and have her be a bridesmaid...but I would also feel weird on our wedding day if his brother and nephew were included in wedding party things and she was not. She got married last year, and I was not asked to be bridesmaid, which is understandable because I was just a girlfriend. Please help and share your opinions!

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Allyson, on August 14, 2013 at 12:42 PM

Master November 2013
Laura · on August 14, 2013 at 12:21 PM
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If you two are close, and you want her standing up there with you, then go for it! But I don't think you should ever feel obligated to have someone in the wedding party. Also, if her son the the RB, and both parents are in the wedding party, who is going to watch over him after his RB duties are completed? That is something to keep in mind, too.
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VIP September 2013
Valerie · on August 14, 2013 at 12:21 PM
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If you want her as your BM, then ask her. I didnt ask any of my FSIL, but I had already decided my BP years ago, lol.
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Expert July 2013
Megan K · on August 14, 2013 at 12:30 PM
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I had mine in. I thought it would have been weird too but I loved having her. If it was a new girlfriend, no way-but the wife will likely be around for a while (or at least 15 years heh)
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Super October 2010
vngb · on August 14, 2013 at 12:39 PM
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If you want her there with you because you are close, then yes it makes perfect sense. If you are extending the invitation as a peace offering, to try to get closer, because you feel like you have to, etc., then it may not be the best idea.

It sounds like you two are close and support each other, though, so I don't see any red flags. Just follow what you feel is right!
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Rachel DellaPorte · on August 14, 2013 at 12:42 PM
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You said, "I would feel great if their whole family could be in our wedding party". So, there you go. The very worst that could happen is she declines (for whatever reason). But, don't worry about it being weird. There is no way to misconstrue an invitation to be a bridesmaid. It's always flattering.
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Master May 2014
Allyson · on August 14, 2013 at 12:42 PM
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I think you should ask her, based on your description of your relationship. My FH is close to my sister's husband (my BIL) and he's asking him to be a GM. He made the choice on his own because they've become friends.
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