Including dress code on the details card of your invitation packet?

I don’t care if it’s included but I also think most people don’t need to be told how to dress for weddings and those who do won’t pay attention to the dress code listed anyway. I also think it can sometimes get confusing because couples start adding words to describe the look their going for and people interpret it differently.

View Quoted Comment I agree with that. I haven’t seen any in person but I’ve read about them on forums where there is no way to decipher what they want. And most guests do know how to dress from what I have seen.

I honestly don't care either way! I tend not to care about "small things" & that to me would be small. People can do whatever they want for their wedding.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. Went to a wedding at a farm/winery and the bride put “formal attire”. Didnt think this matched the setting and Thought I’d be underdressed but many came in cocktail attire and some in true formal attire.

Dress code is condescending in my opinion. I know how to dress for a wedding, based on the formality of the venue. The exception is black tie/white tie as per etiquette. Interesting black and white tie dictate a level of service expected as opposed to purely dress code.

ETA: and also dress codes are rarely clear. What is "smart casual", "business fancy", or "black tie optional"? There is no accepted standard of this.

I appreciate a note about attire because I never know what to expect and I don’t have to try and reach out to someone to find out. I know people say you can judge by the invites etc. But...
my cousin got married and I wasn’t expecting much from their wedding. But then I got their invite and it was pretty nice! So I was like oh maybe this won’t be what I thought. Their wedding was pot luck under an open air barn (?) with a dirt floor and port a potties. I was way over dressed in my sun dress.

I’ve personally never seen dress code listed on an invitation, but I have seen it listed on details cards more often recently (although I’ve mostly seen it listed on wedding websites). It doesn’t bother/offend me at all either way. A lot of people may actually find it helpful to have all info in one envelope and not have to access the website for additional info.

If it said "dress code" I would find it snobby unless required by the venue. But if it simply described the attire, like "semi-formal attire" then I would actually be appreciative. I've had a few people ask me what they should wear to my wedding. So on my wedding website there's a space for that information and I think it would be helpful.

One of my very first questions when I get invited to a wedding is “what should I wear?” I actually appreciate it. Even the generic “cocktail attire” doesn’t give me much of an idea, but it’s nice to know it’s not casual. I even appreciate it more if they give examples of what they mean by “xxx attire” on their website.

If you have a website I think that would be a good place to put your dress code.

I agree with the 1st reply.
The only 2 infos a guest needs to know are the date and the level of formality.
In some areas of France (where my fiancé is coming from), it's acceptable to dictate the colors the guests are supposed to wear: for instance the maid OH, bridesmaids in, say, peach and the man OH/bridesmen in the same suit as the groomsmen but with peach tie/bowtie and pocketsquare, the best man/woman, groomsmen/women in,say, light grey and everyone else in, say, navy blue. Or the groom's family + friends in a color and the bride's ones in another one.It doesn't mean everyone "obeys" but most do, about 70-80%, my fiancé said.

View Quoted Comment Black Tie optional is a pet peeve of mine. The event is either black tie or it’s not, those I’ve seen describe it, are describing “formal” not black tie, or they just want people to be formally dressed at a more casual type atmosphere. And then you get a mix of semi formal to straight up tuxes and gowns which makes everyone feel under or over dressed with most of the time 0 black tie level service.

View Quoted Comment Black Tie optional is a pet peeve of mine. The event is either black tie or it’s not, those I’ve seen describe it, are describing “formal” not black tie, or they just want people to be formally dressed at a more casual type atmosphere. And then you get a mix of semi formal to straight up tuxes and gowns which makes everyone feel under or over dressed with most of the time 0 black tie level service.

View Quoted Comment I think there is often times a misconception about black-tie optional events. Black-tie optional should signify that the event is quite formal, and could almost be considered black tie, but maybe it is lacking a detail or two which will technically make it not black tie. For example maybe the event will begin earlier than 6:00 PM, or maybe valet will not be provided… but the event meets all the other qualifications of a black tie affair. By calling it black-tie optional, the hosts are acknowledging that maybe the event does not meet every single “requirement” to classify it as a black tie event, but making it known that if one were to wear black tie attire, they would not be out of place.

View Quoted Comment If that were the case, I can absolutely see that. But more often than not (atleast from what I see) it’s the couple just wants people to dress fancy for photos. Not saying that’s the case for all

View Quoted Comment I absolutely agree! I think a lot of couples hosting weddings don’t understand what black-tie optional means, and just assume it is referring strictly to attire. I have seen several brides just on this forum who wanted to designate black-tie/black-tie optional, yet they are not hosting anything even remotely resembling a black tie wedding! They just think it will look cool in their photos 🤦🏼‍♀️

I inserted a dress code on my enclosure card that was within my invitation suites. My wedding was the first one in the family since the 90’s. Many of my guests had no idea what to wear since they haven’t been to weddings so on my wedding website I also included a link to explain cocktail attire to my guest. My venue also had a dress code but it was things no wedding guest Lin my opinion would wear any way which are jeans, sneakers, muscle shirts. I would also be appreciative of a dress code to a wedding since my first one was my own this past June and the one I was a flower girl at age 3 in the 90’s. Even my aunt as we got ready at her house had no idea what to wear just hours before the wedding, mind you it was her who had the last wedding in our family in the 90’s. So I say it’s a know your guest list kind of thing. None of my guests were offended quite the opposite. If weddings don’t happen often in your family or friend groups then I’m sure information on attire would be appreciated and helpful.

View Quoted Comment

Yep exactly. Also black tie optional is not a thing. It's people trying to get people to dress formally without offering black tie service.

If you must dictate a dress code, then it would belong on the wedding website.

I wouldn't put it on the invitation unless it's black tie. And if it is black tie, the atmosphere needs to match (valet parking, full open bar, 2 live bands, full course plated dinner, Saturday after 6:30pm etc). If people ask, I would put it on the website in a FAQ section or something like that.