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Super March 2020

Including brothers in wedding

Concetta, on February 4, 2020 at 3:54 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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Hi everyone, my father passed away 12 years ago and my grandfather who I was close too passed 10 years ago... all I have are my 3 older brothers. I have my eldest brother officiating the wedding, middle is doing father daughter dance which means so so much to him because he has been there the most for me and the other is just 1 year older than me.... we were SO close growing up and as pre teens, but than he just went the wrong path of life, no drugs or drinking, he is just not an adult yet even at 28 years old... he is one of those people that everyone did him wrong or oh I have nothing nice because of everyone else... an odd duck and im not trying to be mean please do not think I am... I am just trying to explain... see, I feel bad to have my 2 brothers do such big things and 1 left out. I think walking me down the aisle is just such a huge thing that I cant give to someone just because I feel bad... so I was considering him doing a reading at the ceremony, would this be nice? we are getting married at our venue not at church so is this even still a thing? please help a soon to be bride in 31 days!

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Latest activity by Joanna, on February 4, 2020 at 5:32 PM

Champion June 2019
Gen · on February 4, 2020 at 3:56 PM
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I think a reading is a lovely idea? Or maybe he could do a toast at the reception?
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Super March 2020
Concetta · on February 4, 2020 at 3:58 PM
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Thank you, I just didn’t know if readings still took place at venue ceremony’s or if this was just a church thing. I love this idea thank you
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on February 4, 2020 at 4:16 PM
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Yeah I think it's fine to do at any ceremony! We personally didn't have any readings but I've been to non-church weddings where they've had readings.
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Dedicated October 2020
Joanna · on February 4, 2020 at 4:56 PM
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I went through a similar dilemma with my two brothers. My oldest brother is officiating the wedding, and then my other brother is an usher. At first he was offended because he thought he was the only one not asked to be a groomsmen, but then when he learned that oldest brother was officiating he loosened up.
Personally, I don't think just doing a reading is enough. But that's just me. Could your brother be an usher? Or both?
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Super March 2020
Concetta · on February 4, 2020 at 4:58 PM
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They are all groomsman as well lol
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Dedicated October 2020
Joanna · on February 4, 2020 at 5:02 PM
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So all three of your brothers are groomsmen and only two of them have extra jobs?
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Super March 2020
Concetta · on February 4, 2020 at 5:26 PM
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Yes that is the situation lol
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Dedicated October 2020
Joanna · on February 4, 2020 at 5:32 PM
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Oh, the groomsmen part was not in your original post.

Honestly, since he is already a groomsmen, I would not give him another job. If he wasn't already standing up there, then I would definitely say he should do a reading or be an usher. But since he is a groomsmen, then he already has a job and probably doesn't need to do anything else. If you are not as close with him as your other brothers, then being a groomsmen is enough.
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