Including brothers in bridal party

Plenty of brides choose to have a "bridesman" or "man of honor" in their bridal party and it's perfectly fine! I would not ask them to stand with you if you do not want to include them in the wedding party, that's the whole premise of having a wedding party (standing next to you during your ceremony).

If you only want them to stand with you for the sake of even sides, please don't ask them to do so. Your wedding party should be your nearest and dearest and they shouldn't be treated as props for aesthetic purposes. I'm also not sure what your concern is about them not being very "reliable" or living across the country for the purpose of being in the wedding party.

View Quoted Comment My concern is that they both have a drug problem and don’t have the money or means to do everything that is included in being in a wedding party. The only thing I can really trust them to do is show up on the day of

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The only thing required of wedding party members is to show up for the wedding in the correct attire. If you're concerned that they wouldn't be able to afford the right attire, how would they be able to stand with you? Were you planning on covering the cost for them?

If you’re going to ask someone to be in your wedding party, you should treat them like a member of your wedding party, not a burden.

My brother was my bridesman, but 2 groomsman dropped out so we ended up just putting him on my husbands side anyway to keep things looking even. He didn’t mind either way.

It would be nice to have your brothers as bridesmen, but given the circumstances it sounds like you really don’t want to and like it would increase your stress. If that’s the case, don’t do it

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I'm sorry if this is harsh in any way, but I would put more concern on getting them help for their drug problems, not if they should be in the wedding. If you don't think they may show up the day of, I wouldn't ask them to be in the wedding, as you are setting yourself up for disappointment on your wedding day then. I hope it all works out for you.

If my Fiance hadn't asked my brother to be his groomsman, I totally would have had him be a "bridesman". We're super close and I would not have left him out!

My brother was a bridesman in our wedding and my husband's female best friend was a groomswoman. Both are very reliable. If your brothers aren't reliable I wouldn't have them in the wedding. I made the mistake of having my extremely unreliable sister as my maid of honor and it was awful. A week before the wedding she decided she hated her dress so I bought her a new. She had it for 2 or 3 days and she burnt the bottom of it when she tried to throw a cigarette out her car window and instead of going out the window and landed on the dress in the backseat. My sister-in-law used pins to hide the burn marks. My sister and her now husband disappeared during the reception with my husband's drug addict cousin for at least an hour to do God knows what. If I could do it again, she definitely wouldn't have been in my wedding. If you have concerns I wouldn't put them in your wedding because you could end up regretting it just like I do.

My brother is standing up with me, so I don't think it's weird! He's going to be the best bridesman ever!

If you are thinking just to even the numbers then i wouldn't. i would have them be ushers then. have them walk in grandparents or your mom. if you genuinely want them to stand with you and be part of your bridal party then do so, but i would include them in everything then.

If they stand, they should be in the wedding party. I'd just have them as bridesmen instead of groomsmen.

Brides men and Men of Honor is definitely a thing now. They would be dressed in a suit that either matches or compliments your bridesmaid dresses vs having them match the groomsmen. Helps them to stand out more on your side. As far as duties, their only duty is to get their clothes by the deadline and show up on the day of.

I have 3 bridesmen, so I clearly think it’s a fine idea. Lol

I had a bridesman, DH had two groomswomen. They participated in the "extra" parties and things, because they wanted to, and remain important people to us.

It's totally normal nowadays, and if your brothers are important to you, do it. Don't do it just to "match," though, you'll regret it.