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Super March 2021

Include some kids but not others?

Kimberly, on February 22, 2020 at 12:36 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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My FH and I are having a DW in Gatlinburg. Our venue is an all inclusive with venue, food, photography, decor, officiant, etc. our package includes up to 30 guests. Additional guests can be added for $145/p up to 40. The 40 is the max and it does include us as the bride and groom. So really up to 38 guests max. We are mostly just having our immediate family and are including one of my aunts that I’ve always been very close to and two of my cousins that are like sisters to me. We also want to include 2 of my FH’s friends (1 couple) and 3 of my friends (1 couple + 1 single). We want to include my two cousins kids and my FH’s great-niece. This puts us at 32 guests. We are willing to pay the additional charge for the 2 over. However, including the 5 friends that we want to include would also add 10 kids. This would not only put us over the max but also cost us $2000. Is it ok to not include the friends’ kids even though we are including family kids?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Kimberly, on February 24, 2020 at 2:09 PM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on February 22, 2020 at 12:42 PM
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I mean it's your day and you can do what you want and you're talking about your friends Kids vs Family Kids however I could see them being bothered by having some kids there but they weren't allowed to bring theirs. You could tell them that we're trying to take within budget so we kindly request that only you two go.
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Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on February 22, 2020 at 12:42 PM
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It’s your wedding you can invite whomever you want. Family is family. I’m sure they will understand your situation.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on February 22, 2020 at 1:58 PM
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No, it’s rude to allow some kids but not others. This can cause hurt feelings too. Or lead to drama. (Infants of nursing age are always exception to the “no kids” rule).

But a way to invite some kids is to include those few in the wedding party (flower girl, ring bearer). Can you do that?
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VIP June 2019
MIWM · on February 22, 2020 at 2:45 PM
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It's your day you can do what you want. We had 3 people that could not find a babysitter and we did not want them to miss our special day so we told them it was ok to bring their children. ( 3 kids total). My husbands friends girlfriend who is a Narcissist I found out she complained to one of my good friends who she didn't even know about kids being at the wedding, it was my family and had nothing to do with her and was not her wedding day. I made sure to tell her about herself a month later. People need to mind their own business especially if they are not paying for the wedding.
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Super October 2020
Fmv · on February 22, 2020 at 3:22 PM
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Its your day. Do what you want. Personally i did not want any kids at my wedding but FH said if we did not include them that would make some family members who live out of town not be able to come. We are keeping the kids to a minimum only certain family members, and we arent allowing friends bring their kids.
Do what works best for you!
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Devoted October 2020
Maddie · on February 22, 2020 at 5:56 PM
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It’s your day, invite who you want. I don’t agree with the statement people say that “people’s feelings will be hurt”. Anyone mature enough would understand the situation why some kids were invited but not others, especially if the kids invited are family or kids that you consider part of your family.

I’m having no kids under the age of 21 EXCEPT my flower girl and ring bearer (kids of my MOH & bridesmaid) and possibly my FH 2 nephews as they live in Florida (wedding is in PA) and that would be extremely rude to just invite his sister & husband as they would most likely not come b/c they have no one to watch their early teenage kids. Like 95% of our guest list are people that are local.
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on February 22, 2020 at 7:32 PM
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We are having a very small wedding and wedding party. Our wedding party is just my FH’s teenage daughter and son and my 8 year old daughter. So there isn’t really any jobs for the other kids to do. They would be there because they are so close to my FH and I and are considered part of our immediate family.
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Expert May 2021
Rachael · on February 22, 2020 at 11:44 PM
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I would think it's acceptable to have family only kids. The only kids invited to my wedding are my brothers kids. None of our friends kids got invited. We realized people don't want to take their kids to a wedding anyways, it's a good night out !
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Super June 2021
Virginia · on February 24, 2020 at 11:42 AM
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The only kids allowed are our nieces and nephews.
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on February 24, 2020 at 2:09 PM
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Thank you everyone! I think we will go with just including the family kids and hopefully the friends will newest and why we can’t accommodate their kids.
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