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Just Said Yes January 2022

In-laws turned evil what do i do?

Victoria, on January 19, 2020 at 5:55 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 11

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My fiancé and I will be getting married next year on our 10 year anniversary. We’ve been together since we were 15 and his family has always welcomed me with open arms. They’ve wanted us to get married since year 2 but know money was our concern especially wi Th how big his family is. When we got engaged they told us they’d pay for our venue but now that’s it’s time to put a deposit down they’re bashing all our plans; our venue, our caterer, our save the dates, the colors everything. And they avoid all wedding related questions and now we fear they won’t help us pay. The whole point of them helping was we were planning for a 500 guest count 80% of which is their family; but if they back out we can’t afford 500 and will cut our list to 150. We have both talked to them and they’re so antagonistic and we have no clue what’s going on (and they’ve known about all our plans ahead of time as we got engaged last year)

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Cristy, on January 20, 2020 at 5:58 PM

Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on January 19, 2020 at 6:07 PM
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I would just cut the guest list and pay for it
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on January 19, 2020 at 6:19 PM
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I would plan whatever you guys can afford and don’t have them help you. They will then need to do what you guys want.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 19, 2020 at 6:27 PM
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I would say sadly if someone pays for it they do have some say because they are going to feel it is their money. Also, do you want 500 people at your wedding? I read somewhere at smaller weddings you have more quality time to spend with people. I would just thank them for being willing to pay but since your vision does not match with theirs then you two will foot the bill for your wedding. If they throw a fit then your FH needs to tell them something my friend said when her mom was controlling her wedding plans: "Either you may for my wedding and I have it how I want it or I pay for my wedding and get it how I want it."
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on January 19, 2020 at 6:32 PM
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Sounds like you need to cut the list 150. I wouldn’t rely on them. Also, if you’re having issues now, you’ll probably have even more if they help you pay. So it’s better to pay for it yourself and have all of the say and control over your own wedding.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on January 19, 2020 at 7:07 PM
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Yikes. I’d create the wedding you want and can afford (even if fewer than 150 guests). No pay, no say. If in-laws persist, do not share details with them.
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Expert February 2020
Tanyia · on January 19, 2020 at 7:13 PM
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Aim for the 150. Let the family know. Once they see the list they may decide to contribute to expand it.
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Dedicated October 2022
Shariyahmom · on January 19, 2020 at 7:21 PM
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Right! I agree
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on January 19, 2020 at 7:39 PM
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Cut the guest list and have the wedding you can afford.
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Just Said Yes January 2022
Victoria · on January 19, 2020 at 8:04 PM
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Thank you all; we are gonna give them One last chance to decide firm if they are helping and if not we are just gonna do what we have to; my sister in law agrees and even says her parents are being insane about it all
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Expert February 2020
Sara · on January 19, 2020 at 8:05 PM
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I agree with the previous posters. Cut it to what you two can afford on your own. If the family doesn't like it..oh well. They had their chance.
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on January 20, 2020 at 5:58 PM
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Just plan what you and FH can afford on your own. Take their "contribution" out of the equation. Then you can have what you want, and have it stress free! You can't hold up all your plans (or change all your plans) because his parents have suddenly become flaky.
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