MK
Expert September 2021

In law relationships

MK, on March 30, 2021 at 10:46 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 37
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Just curious, what is your relationship like with your in-laws or future in-laws?!

My FMIL and I are extremely close and I adore her and the rest of his family -- but I've seen lots of horror stories on WW and even in my own circle! Do you have a healthy relationship, or more estranged/tense with your S.O's family?

37 Comments

Latest activity by Jade, on April 1, 2021 at 7:05 PM
  • Dawn
    Dedicated March 2022
    Dawn ·
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    Oh my gosh, I LOVE my in-laws! My MIL is the best and sweetest mother figure ever, so caring and loving and generous. My FIL is so invested in my success, and has helped me so much with finishing up my degree (I should graduate this year!) My BIL and his wife are also amazing, My fiance and I actually bought a house just a block away from them, and we get to see each other all the time, and it's exciting knowing our kids will all grow up so close together. My SIL and her fiance live in Australia, but they are also so wonderful. We try to facetime and chat often, but the distance isn't easy. But WOW I am so lucky, and it sounds like you are too!

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    The week before our wedding, my mother in law told a family friend that she wished my wife was marrying her gay bridesman instead of me. So yeah, you could say we’re basically besties.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    FMIL and I are very close. We do things just the two of us all the time. Honestly we had rough patches when she was still trying to influence her son and his decisions, but now that he set boundaries and she respects them, we can just be friends.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    My in-laws are divorced and my father-in-law is remarried. I love my mother-in-law, but there are definitely times she gets on my nerves. As for my father-in-law, I can't stand him and most people that know him about get along with him. Most of my husband's friends have only ever met him once which was at our wedding because he is such a difficult person to get along with. At our wedding, in front of my parents he flipped me off because I told him he needed to be in family photos after him and his wife disappeared. My dad was about ready to punch him, but thankfully my mom was sitting right there to prevent it or my dad probably would have. As for his wife, my husband and I barely know her. They live 4 hours away so we have only met her a handful of times. My husband doesn't particularly care for her because she tends to try to hard to fit in.

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  • MK
    Expert September 2021
    MK ·
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    That is amazing! You definitely don't realize how lucky you are to find a family in your in-laws until you hear some of the nightmares people have in their S.O's family. It's such a blessing!

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  • MK
    Expert September 2021
    MK ·
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    I'm sorry, what!? She sounds like no one I would want a relationship with, anyway. I'm so sorry to hear that!

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  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    I am extremely close with my FH is Dad♥️. He is also the one that initially introduced me and my fiancé almost 10 years ago. His dad is a very talented musician and I met him through playing music and that’s when he suggested I meet his son (my fiancé). My FH is also an extremely talented musician like his father. I pray that our son is as talented as both of them if we’re lucky enough to have one someday. I call my FH is father Dad most of the time. I’ve been calling him dad since a year into me and my FH dating because he would always say to me ‘you’re the daughter I never had” lol.


    As far as my FMIL goes..... I’ve never really gotten close to her. She doesn’t live in our state and she’s a great person but she’s sort of the type of person that’s just never really held a great interest in the lives of her children.
    My FH’s grandparents (fmil’s parents) are awesome! They’ve always treated me as if I was my FH’s wife already. For example when they mention me to someone they’ll say “my grandson and his wife”.(probably because we’ve been together for so long and they’re kind of old fashion lol) They don’t live in the state, but they always call and are always just so warm and welcoming.
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  • SHY
    VIP January 2022
    SHY ·
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    My in-laws are divorced. FFIL has been with his girlfriend for years and they live together, FMIL is currently seeing someone but we're not sure how serious it is. I feel like I'm pretty close with both! We try to see FH's dad at least once a year since he lives in Florida, but FH's mom lives close to us, so we see her often.

    I don't really have a problem with either one of them. They're good people, and fun to be around! I will say though, I'm almost 100% sure I'll but heads with FMIL whenever we have kids. I've already voiced some opinions and discussed how we'd like to raise our kids, and she does the classic: "Well when the boys were younger we didn't do blahblahblah." or "Well when I had the boys we didn't have all those products and they turned out fine!". But of course I feel like almost all in-laws do this and think their way is the best way to bring up kids, so I'll see how I manage it when the time comes lol.

    FFIL is pretty laid back and easy going. As long as he's got a comfortable place to sit, and good conversation going with good food, then he's set lol.

    I will say the biggest issue with both of them, is family gatherings and holidays. FMIL and her family doesn't like FFIL's girlfriend, so often times if the gf is invited, FMIL will either pitch a fit, or just not come at all lol. They def. won't be seated together at the wedding, so let's hope no drama occurs!

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  • Grace
    Rockstar February 2022
    Grace ·
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    My FH and my family are incredibly close but his relationship with his own family is rocky. I was pretty close with his parents in the first 6 months we were together but then his sister, new husband, and 4 kids (ages 4, 2, and twin infants) moved in with them. Going to visit has been stressful ever since, partly because my FSIL does not like me. Sometimes she treats me fine but other times she is a real B. My FH does not want kids and his younger sister always thought his wife would change his mind. I have stood by him and that just pisses her off. She doesn't think a woman can be a good person if they don't want kids of their own.


    Consequently, his parents are stressed and snippy because we aren't visiting as often and because they are overwhelmed at home all the time. COVID didn't help but this started 6 months before COVID even hit. Relationship has deteriorated with both of them and my FH told me this week that he would be OK not inviting his mother or sister to the wedding if they keep treating him like they have been (I think he would regret this but telling you so you can see how far they are pushing us away). I am trying to keep up some relationship with his parents so we can reconnect and rebuild it down the road, if that is possible.
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  • Ava
    Super May 2022
    Ava ·
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    She sounds like a peach
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    I have a good relationship with my in-laws. Not just my MIL and FIL, but also my brother and sister in law, cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents.

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  • AJ
    Rockstar October 2022
    AJ ·
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    My future in-laws are really nice, I wouldn't say I'm "besties" with my FMIL or FSIL but we get along.

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  • Courtney
    Expert September 2022
    Courtney ·
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    My FH's father passed before we started dating, so I never got a chance to meet him, but it sounds like we would have gotten along famously.

    FMIL is a mixed bag. I'm a very private person, and when FH and I started dating we were long distance, so when I went to visit I wanted to spend just 1 on 1 time with him. FMIL was used to her son (only child) dating women without mother-figures or good relationships with their moms so they would all go out and get nails done and things like that. She's also got a huge victim mentality because her SO (FH's dad) passed after 30+ years of being together, and even though she started dating another man within months of his passing (which is it's own entire bag of drama) and is still dating that same man, she makes a huge stink about him being gone and it not being fair to her.

    I'm wired differently on a mental level and quite literally cannot comprehend a lot of her thought process/mentality so she just rubs me the wrong way most days. But customer service/hospitality is my background so I've learned to BS my way through life around her for FH's sake.

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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I honestly have never talked to my father in law haha. he's never really at home. my mother in law though we are close! initially we had a bit of a rocky relationship but that's because we didn't know each other but gradually as we got to know each other, things got better

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  • Fred
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    My dad , step-mom and 2 sis love her ( I Don't have any bro) even though my sis and FW are not besties.

    My mom , however: oh man! She loved her but as soon as we got engaged, she had and still have her "I Feel Like My Future DIL is taking my son away from me" feelings. That being said she does respect her.

    My future IL AND I get along but that's it. I DO love them (future FIL,MIL, 2 BIL, 1SIL) but my FW is not that close to them (except for 1 broher who is her man of honor),so neither am I. I only see them at family gatherings/event.

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  • Fred
    Expert April 2022
    Fred ·
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    Sorry. Some people think we still live in the 1900's!!

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  • Melody
    Expert April 2021
    Melody ·
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    I generally have a really good relationship with the future in-laws, but I also take my lead from FH on some things because of the disturbing amount of various types of drama in his family. Essentially, I try to keep my relationship with various members of his family on par with his relationship with them. Most of them would take me having a better relationship with them than he does as an opportunity to manipulate him, which I'm super not okay with. So we love them from arm's length and things have been going smoothly so far.

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  • M
    Devoted September 2021
    Marianne ·
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    I have a really good relationship with my FH's entire family! Having a good relationship with my in laws was really important to me in general (I'm too much of a people pleaser to have someone as important as an SO's family member dislike me). FH still lived at home when we started dating and I was introduced to the family on like the 2nd date and now we live across the street from them! I never imagined myself living so close to my in laws (and it's not going to last for much longer - our house is way too small), but it's been nice being able to spend so much time with them, especially since my own family lives over 6 hours away. They've really become a second family to me Smiley heart

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  • Liz
    Devoted August 2021
    Liz ·
    • Flag
    I don't really know them at all, his immediate family lives all over the US, then COVID hasn't helped with quarantining. Met his sister, for dinner a few months before COVID started and met a brother and his parents for the weekend right when COVID was becoming a thing. Knew of one brother that I haven't met yet, and only learned of another brother when we were doing the initial guest list lol.


    Super nervous as his parents and a brother are coming into town to stay with us for a week for Easter. 😬😬😬
    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Expert May 2019
    KYLIE ·
    • Flag
    My FIL is one of my favorite people in the world! Like a PP, I knew him before I knew my husband and while it was tricky transitioning from a professional relationship (I worked for him) to a familial one, we’ve made it work. He’s just so funny and smart and considerate!


    My MIL and I aren’t super close, but we’re getting there. She’s just a very unique person, a loaner and frugal in ways that go very far, especially considering her very, very healthy financial status. But she’s very generous when it comes to others and I know she’s super excited to help when we eventually have children!
    My SIL and I are not close at all—we just have zero in common. I am, however, close to some of my husband’s aunts/uncles/cousins.
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