In law problems

Yeah, my mother in law definitely had her opinions and tried to push some stuff on me.

if you can, try not to tell her anything. but if you can't, then if you can give her one very specific thing to be in charge of then that might help deflect her attention from other things

My FMIL was like this in the beginning. We eventually stopped talking about the wedding around her, and she backed off and got on board with whatever we had planned. Eventually she offered to take care of the cake, and since neither of us even cared about it (we would have gotten a sheet cake from costco and crossed it off the list) we told her to go for it.

If not talking to her about the wedding isn't an option, I agree with Melle that maybe assigning her a specific task may help. Just make sure it's not something you really care about just in case you don't love her ideas. Like if you don't really care about favors you could ask her to take care of those.

I agree with others, but most importantly, this is something your FH has to rein in. His parent, his responsibility. If the two of you are on the same page about what you want for your wedding, he needs to make it clear to his mom she needs to change her behavior and only get involved in things if either of your ask for her help with or opinion on. Good luck!

I totally understand what you are going through. Before my husband and I even got engaged, my mother-in-law started voicing her opinions. Prior to our engagement, she went out to dinner with me, my husband, my brother-in-law, and his wife and she told me and my brother-in-law's wife (then girlfriend) how if we ever married her sons we should have our receptions at a fire hall. The conversation started because a bride and groom walked into the restaurant we were at. My brother-in-law's wife and I didn't say anything, but a fire hall was the last thing either of us wanted. Once we got engaged to her sons (our engagements were two days apart & our weddings six weeks apart), she was much worse. She kept telling me how I shouldn't want a fancy or big wedding. She tried to convince me to have fake flowers even though she knew I wanted real flowers. She tried to tell me who she was walking down the aisle with her since she is single. She wanted to do a stoplight dance with my husband's older brother (her step-son) because she didn't get to dance with him for a spotlight dance at his wedding. She insisted on making the flower girls' dresses (her step-granddaughters were our flower girls), but she never asked if that's what I wanted. It was a nightmare. I would voice your concerns to your fiance. My husband had to step in several times because she wouldn't listen to me. Once he told her, she was fine with it which really annoyed because when I told her she didn't want to listen, but when he told her she listened.

Yep - get your partner involved, he can tell her to reel it in, stop talking about the wedding with her and try to have some sort of coordinator around to keep her in line on the day of the wedding.