Hello,
My Fiance and I are getting married in late May this year. We are very happy and have a wonderful life together but there is one thing that looms over us like a dark storm cloud and that would be our relationship with our in laws. Specifically his brother and sister in law.
A little back story. Fiance was best friends with his older brother growing up being the only two children. Got along great. His brother got married to my Fiances' now sister in law and the three of them got a long great. Went to concerts, had dinners, helped on house projects etc; the three of them. My fiance at that time was single and not working a full time job; thus had a lot of free time on his hands so he ended up spending a lot of time with them.
3 years ago my Fiance got a full time job and began dating me and nothing has been the same. He started to spend time with me and working his new job. The brother and sister in law were hurt by this and felt betrayed. He apologized but things never worked out between the four of us. His brother and sister in law never welcomed me into their circle and always talked down at me as if I was not good enough. I was always the outsider. That started to create arguments between my fiance and I because he was blind to how I was being treated. It took him a while to finally realize that his brother and sister in law were not treating me how I deserved. We have come a long way my fiance and I from this, and are much stronger. But it has caused such a divide in his family with them and his parents.
We all have had sit down discussions and talks but nothing ever gets resolved. It is always awkward and truthfully now matter how well my Fiance and I are doing they have not supported us one bit. The sister in law never even congratulated me on the engagement. I only receive texts from them on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and for the first time in three years my birthday. The parents try to not take sides but they just blame my Fiance and tell him to fix it.
Now we are a few months out from the wedding and I find out the the sister in law wants to help plan a bridal shower my future mother in law wants to throw me. To me this is a slap in the face. This girl has never cared one way or another for me. She thinks NOW is the appropriate time to form a friendship? Am I wrong to think like this? I have enough stress as it is with the whole wedding planning process and her being involved would just complicate everything more. Not to mention my fiance is thinking of revoking his brother as his best man because he has not shown up or supported us like a real best man should. Which is going to cause even more problems with the family. We wish things didn't have to be like this but we feel we are doing what is best for us. We are being realistic about thins and they are just not that great with those two. It's so incredibly sad but for our day to go as we wish we feel we have to do these things.
Please help. Please advise. I shouldn't be dreading my own wedding because of two people, but I am. This is a real life Royal Rift and my heart is breaking.
