In law family drama

I invited my in laws that I hadn’t met but none of them showed.

I find it inappropriate to invite strangers to events that are entirely about giving you gifts. Showers should be reserved for your nearest and dearest.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! That's what I thought. His aunt is making the comment if my shower is nothing but my family she's going to start a fight. I'm not the type of person to invite people just for the gifts. That's what they want me to do.

I think everyone’s family is different. My family sees a shower as more of a get together like a holiday. So not being invited is like you’re not welcome and I don’t want to spend time with you. Obviously you didn’t intend that and saying she wants to start a fight sounds crazy to me.

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It's a good way to extend an olive branch. When my Uncle proposed to my (now) Aunt, her MOH reached out to our side of the family to invite us. I don't really have this problem with my future in-law because they live four states away, but if they were closer I would invite them. There's no reason not to and you're going to be family soon. It's better to extend an olive branch than to start a feud this early in the relationship!

View Quoted Comment I already sent my invitations out. As of right now my shower is may31st. His mom understood the reason why I didn't send them out to the people I never met before. His aunt all of the sudden is starting this. I didnt want to send the invites and them not knowing who I am BC that's what would happen.

Often, if few in the groom's family know the bride, they give her a separate shower, which is more of a gathering to meet the bride and say welcome to the family.
Brides don't throw showers for themselves, as a shower is asking especially close people to bring a second present ( always in addition to the basic wedding gift) for the bride. Why is aunt asking you? If his aunt and Mom want a shower, they should plan one. Any close female friend or family ( either side) may give one. It is not a BM or MOH responsibility, anyone can do it. With the bride's family and friends, the shower is not only household things, but some things just for the bride, like a trousseau. But because groom side is just meeting you, they would generally give household things that are for both you and groom. So you are not collecting gift from people you don't know. Rather, you ( or you and groom, if he attends) accept gifts on behalf of the two of you. And groom is their family. And you are right, it would be weird for you to get gifts from strangers. So any gifts to you personally would ordinarily be small, or social in nature. The rest, household. Why is anyone putting you on the spot? Your shower hostesses chose to give the shower for you and your friends and family. Likely a number they could afford or manage.
Tell FI that if aunt is ticked off, she or MOG should call your mom. And tell FI, and your mom, that if they are saying they want a shower, and want to give one, you and FI would happily attend, and MOB too. But they should not dump this on you, that you did not invite them to a party other people are giving. That would be presumptuous and rude on their part. They have had since you were engaged, or sent saves, or just let them know about the wedding. If they wanted to give or attend a shower, why didn't they say something months ago?

Not at all! I didn’t even invite everyone on the guest list that was invited to the wedding. I especially don’t think people you don’t know should come to such an intimate event