In Law drama

I see where your FH is coming from. They've clearly made the choice that their relationship with the two of you is not their priority, I don't think they deserve to hear it from you about your baby. FSIL sounds like a real problem in the workplace, I would go to HR. She shouldn't be able to terrorize you at work, family or not.

I personally would switch jobs. I have done this before to escape harassment. Best decision I’ve ever made, new job had better benefits, more promotional potential.

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Well, that was actually the plan before we found out I was pregnant. I was going to put my notice in when we returned from the honeymoon. Like I already have my resignation letter typed up. I started real estate school back in June. However, that's not a steady source of income at the beginning and we're going to have to move once our lease is up (July 2020) to accommodate a growing family. So I'm not sure what we're going to do now. Might still take the plunge, but that means we'll have to continue renting instead of buying a home.

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Unfortunately, HR won't do anything. They were aware of all the issues before. I straight up told them that was why my attendance had gotten so bad and that I was getting sick just thinking of coming in. You know what they did? They called a meeting with her and told her that I was having a breakdown. Which I still feel is wildly inappropriate. And nothing changed.

Literally at least four people have quit our company in the last two-ish years and named her as the primary reason they left. Nothing has been done except slapping her on the wrist.

I would seriously look into finding a new job. HR not helping you is disgusting. I agree that you and FH don't need to tell his mom and sister about the baby right away.

On the bright side, congratulations on your upcoming bundle of joy!

If HR won't help you, I'd definitely find another job. And I agree with your FH. I wouldn't tell them

Find a new job, you will be so much happier. I don’t know how far along you are, but you could always still resign when you return from your honeymoon and just hide the pregnancy from work until then.

Finding a new job is definitely the end goal, but timing is everything. We want to make sure that it's a smart decision financially. With being nose deep in wedding planning, I can't leave before all the wedding stuff is paid for. And then it's dealing with baby expenses and trying to find a new place to live (1 bedroom apartment just ain't gonna cut it here soon).

Did you just find out you are pregnant? I wouldn't tell them or anyone at work until after 12 weeks. But I definitely recommend finding a new job before then and block your MIL and SIL's phone numbers once you leave this job. You shouldn't risk them being able to harass you. The extra anxiety while pregnant is not good.

View Quoted Comment We just found out but we’re about 10 weeks already so I’m sure it’s going to be obvious soon-ish. Only my direct supervisor (had to tell her so I could schedule appointments) and one work friend know about it. But unfortunately my direct supervisor, who is also HR, has a bit of a loose lip thing going on. She constantly tells me about other peoples’ medical issues, and I know she’s close with my FSIL. So it’s really only a matter of time.

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First off, CONGRATS!!! and in that case, if its causing you extra stress worrying about when they'll find out then just tell them. My only fear is that this opens up for them to bother you more like complain to family how you're going to keep the baby from them, and start more drama. So just have your fiance ready to do some damage control with other family members if need be.

First, I am so sorry you are going through that while you have so much to celebrate. Finding another job would of course be ideal, but you have to do it in a time that works for you and your growing family. If you just found out it is not uncommon to keep it to yourself for a while anyway. However, I would recommend you tell your boss and anyone else that needs to know, with the addition of your concerns. The last thing you need is that kind of stress on your pregnancy. I don't know if you have office meetings periodically, but maybe ask your bosses to keep it to themselves so you can announce it to everyone at once, including your SIL. There's really no way to know what will happen after that but if you set yourself up with the support system you need, hopefully that can get you through. Congratulations and good luck!

They don’t deserve to know in my opinion. I’m in a similar situation with my in laws and I’ve cut them off as well. As far as your job goes, idk what kind of job you have but maybe you can ask to be transferred to another department/location so it’s a little easier to deal with? But if anything I would look for another job because that stress and anxiety will not be healthy for your pregnancy

I mean, if you cut out toxicity from your life and FH, despite the blessing a baby is, STILL doesnt want them to find out forgive them that opening, then I'd just leave it be. You have to be prepared for backlash, but I'm sure you anticipated that. This is your business. your blessing. Your day. The only obligation is you, your FH and sweet little baby. You cant stress right now. Of they come after you or start something, simply disengage. I hipenyou all work things out eventually, but now is not the time.

I probably read legal forums for the lay person too much, but your workplace better watch their PS&Qs since you're in a protected class now since you're pregnant. And that includes harassment by your supervisor and/or co-workers if it causes you to endure constant remarks about your body, etc. You should check out the laws for yourself as it's really quite detailed but in my opinion, you have the upper hand now if they start playing games.

At any rate, congratulations on both your new happy events of your wedding and your little squish!

View Quoted Comment If you do quit, you can file for unemployment and list HR mishandling your harassment report and sharing your medical issues with the person harassing you as the reason you quit. That will show that the workplace environment was not healthy for you. This will guarantee you unemployment benefits!

Tell them you’re expecting after their wedding.

Thank you all for your input and well wishes I think we are just going to ride it out. We've talked it through, and I am still going to put in my notice after the honeymoon. I plan on staying through the end of the year to help train a replacement (I'm a director and there's not really someone that could just slide into my spot), and then I'm out. So hopefully that'll ease the stress. Fingers crossed that this is the right career move!