In-Law Contribution/invite wording

Why not just to the general "together with their families?" I think it's the old school way to include parents just because they contribute, It's more of a personal choice now. I could be wrong but that's what I gathered from a similar post. FH's mom says she is contributing but we're not counting on it so we're choosing to go the route of together with their families.

If he feels uncomfortable asking, it shouldn't fall to your parents by default. Why don't you and your FH host it instead?

We still put "together with their families" on our invitations, even though neither side contributed to the cost of the wedding.

And that's funny. Why would she think that was his responsibility?

Exactly what Kate said. I think your fiance needs to be able to talk to his own parents though...

So many things....

But why would FH fund his younger sisters wedding....? What???

My parents paid. My H's parents didn't contribute financially. They traveled from across the world which was a huge contribution in and of itself. We did something like: (bride parents) request the joy of your company at the marriage of their daughter (me) to (husband), son of (grooms parents).

I liked the traditional wording so my parents were recognized as the hosts and his parents were still recognized as well.

You should not expect money from parents or ask for it. Your FH is right to feel uncomfortable. Pay for your own RD. It's not anyone's responsibility but yours.

And why would he be expected to fund his sisters wedding?! That makes zero sense.

I love, and will use, the wording @Dani used for their invites. My parents and his parents are going kind of old school with paying for the wedding, but everything has been offered by them. We didn't make any assumptions or ask for it.

I don't think my FH's parents will be contributing at all. We will still include the standard "along with their families" because it just feels like the right thing to do. His parents honestly may not even be in attendance because 1) they don't condone our relationship because I'm not Indian and 2) they live in India. Even still, I'll include them unless they forbid it or something crazy.

You and FH should host the rehearsal dinner and no way should you be paying for FSIL's wedding (contribute if you want, but shouldn't be demanded). As for the invites, I think doing the, "together with their families" is a nice way to go about it since parental contributions are not required.

" Together with their families"works. It is just easier that way.

We are paying for our own rehearsal dinner. We are having it catered (buffet) which is less expensive than going to a restaurant.

I would encourage your FH to ask one more time if they can contribute anything to the rehearsal dinner - maybe a specific item like drinks?

And I don't know why his mom expects him to pay for his sister's wedding. He needs to nip that in the bud ASAP.

FH's parents contributed to his college tuition so now they've indebted him. He also claims it's a Hispanic thing... not sure if there's truth to that.

I have no problem paying for RD. I just feel like my parents should receive some recognition for contributing to the actual wedding rather than a "together with their families" blanket statement

I hate when invitation wording comes down to who paid. They're your and his parents. It's expensive to raise a kid, and if they've raised independent, kind individuals who are now getting married, they should get a mention on the invitation, at least with a "together with their parents/families". Now if they've been neglectful or abusive, leave them off.

We did:

Mr and Mrs My Parents

request the honor of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

MyFirst MyMiddle

to

DHFirst DHMiddle DHLast

son of Mr and Mrs His Parents

Honestly, DH's parents have us way more cash than mine. That doesn't mean I would've ever thought to leave my parents off.

As for their comment about FSILs weddings, just ignore it. No need to start a fight before it's necessary. If they're old enough to get married, they're old enough to find their own if FH's parents don't offer to help

OP, then in that case, I think the format Dani used is a good idea. It recognizes that your parents are hosting, but also doesn't slap your in-laws in the face for not contributing (which they are under no obligation to do).

As a Hispanic, I do not believe that's a Hispanic thing. Not that I've heard of, anyway. Either way, that's a hard pass from me.

Yes, you can go with traditional wording, but it's really nobody's business who paid for what.

ETA: the rest of the traditional wording is to include under FH's name, " son of mom and dad last name"

Its your wedding so just end it all and pay for it. Its not your moms responsibility. Just because his parents arent contributing doesn't mean they don't get wording on an invite. They dont stop being his parents because they arent helping to pay. You want to give your mom special recognition, put a special place on the program and thank her. Offer a special toast to her at the reception. Buy her a special gift amd present it to her at the ceremony.

As for paying for his sisters wedding, NO is a complete sentence

Whether parents are mentioned on the invite or not should have no relation to whether they contributed.