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Just Said Yes March 2017

In her wedding, should she be in mine?

Katherine, on May 26, 2016 at 6:52 PM Posted in Planning 0 16

What is the etiquette for asking someone to be a bridesmaid? Im in a friends wedding as a bridesmaid and now im having my own wedding but not sure if i want her in mine. I dont want to hurt the friendship. I've asked 3 ladies so far and have 1 spot left. We used to be close but not so much now. We work together as well. I have someone else in mind but dont want to ask just yet. What do i do?

16 Comments

Latest activity by annakay511, on May 28, 2016 at 6:57 AM
  • FreshToDeathAng
    Master September 2016
    FreshToDeathAng ·
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    Just because you're in her wedding doesn't mean you have to ask her to be in yours. Everyone's situation is different.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    What do you mean you have "one spot left"? You're not building a volleyball team. You ask the people who you really want to stand with you, and you don't do it until six-seven months ahead.

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  • Bacon Curly Gurl
    VIP September 2016
    Bacon Curly Gurl ·
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    Just because you were in someone's wedding doesn't mean they have to be in yours. I was a BM in my sorority sister's wedding but didn't ask her to be a BM in mine. She had 9 BM's and I'm only having 4 so she was very understanding (and honestly relieved LOL) when I told her I wouldn't be asking her to be a BM.

    Obligation is never a good reason to ask someone to be a part of your BP.

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  • M
    VIP September 2016
    MrsInSeptember ·
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    No need to feel obliged to ask someone to stand by your side. Ask who you want.

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  • SingingDanielle
    Dedicated September 2017
    SingingDanielle ·
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    Lol @Celia .... I 100% agree!! I only have 5 BM's and my FI has 8 GM! It doesn't matter if your numbers don't match up! We aren't even having a girls side or boys side.... Just one big happy bridal party family! Xo

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  • melanie
    Master August 2017
    melanie ·
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    I was in my cousins and she will not be in mine so I don't think you have to

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  • mimitrue
    Master January 2016
    mimitrue ·
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    You choose your bridal party with people you love...you do not pick a number as spots to fill. Is she one of your great friends? Did you think of her when you got engaged to be a part of your wedding? These are the closest ladies in your life that you want by your side on your wedding day. The fact that you're questioning it tells me she's not one of those closest ladies. Just because you are in hers doesn't mean she needs to be in yours. Please pick the party you want...and not just fill "spots" out of a sense of obligation.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    LOL Celia. It's field day wedding style!

    OP I was in my brother's wedding and he won't be in mine. If you don't want to include her then don't.

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  • OG Brittany
    Master December 2016
    OG Brittany ·
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    Iv'e been in other people's weddings, and didn't ask them to be in mine. It really shouldn't hurt your friendship, because people should not ASSUME that they will automatically be in your wedding. You also have time to make this decision. Maybe think about it before you pick your "last spot," because you may regret your decision later if you act too quickly.

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  • JennV
    Master October 2017
    JennV ·
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    Head's up - this same situation happened to me. I was in my "friend's" wedding November 2014, I barely see her, or talk to her now so I decided not to put her in mine. We were close growing up, but have grown apart. She has since blocked me on social media and has not contacted me. I reached out to her in February but haven't heard from her since. Be prepared, unless she's actually not an extremely sensitive drama queen.

    ETA: she assumed she was in mine.

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  • Sylvia751
    VIP November 2016
    Sylvia751 ·
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    Weddings aren't tit for tat. I was not in my MOH's wedding, or my bridesmaids' wedding. You pick who you want there, and people shouldn't assume they're in your wedding party because you were in theirs.

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  • xray12280
    Master June 2017
    xray12280 ·
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    I was in a friend from high schools but I don't think I'm even inviting her to mine. We have only talked via fb and a few random texts over the past few years.

    So no you don't have to have her in your wedding

    Edit: hit send before finishing my thought

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  • JoRocka
    Master September 2016
    JoRocka ·
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    I only came in here to point out that O&S said tit.

    TITTIES!

    that is all.

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  • Jhoxan  Rodriguez
    Jhoxan Rodriguez ·
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    Lol @JoRocka I think you are the only one that had the guts to say it

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  • Z
    Master May 2012
    Zoe ·
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    I would hope people adult and mature enough to get married would be adult and mature enough that social circles and wedding parties are not all equal.

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  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
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    I have been a BM for people who weren't BM for me, and I had BMs who did not have me as a BM in their weddings (1 before and 1 after my wedding). There are no hard feelings!

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