Robin
Savvy October 2020

In a very unsure place... ( uninviting guests)

Robin, on June 8, 2020 at 3:22 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16
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Due to -the- circumstances, we had to cancel our wedding on May 2nd, 2020. As of right now, we are currently out of a venue and are unsure if we will be able to afford a place to fit the number of people we originally invited (Note, we've been engaged for 2 years at this point.) Everything has been so chaotic and unpredictable, that planning has become a nightmare and I'm starting to think that emotionally and mentally, I will only be able to handle a smaller crowd on my big day (I.E Family and -Close- friends.). I'm just ready to get married to the man I love without stress, big antics, and lots of people. How do I go about uninviting guests? Or do I just accept who I've invited and make myself more financially/emotionally/mentally uncomfortable? Any advice would be appreciated. I'm so stressed.

16 Comments

Latest activity by Christine, on June 9, 2020 at 10:03 PM
  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
    • Flag
    Nothing wrong with having a backyard wedding and inviting 25 people. I say go for it, if it isn't worth the time or the stress.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    Have you already sent out invitations for your October wedding?

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    Honestly i think it's fine to downsize. you said you're out of a venue and at this point it just sounds like it would be a lot more work and strain on you to find one that can fit the original amount of guests you had before. the other thing you can do is i've seen people have micro weddings where it's like inviting groups of people over or out to dinner like dinner parties to celebrate. for instance maybe if you were inviting coworkers, old college/school friends, church members, etc. you can do separate celebrations with each of those groups instead of having one large massive event

    • Reply
  • Sutina
    Savvy July 2020
    Sutina ·
    • Flag

    We downsized and reached out to everyone being "uninvited". Honestly, everyone understood. No one even questioned it. Although we are getting married this July. People were pretty iffy themselves about traveling. We are down to basically immediate family and some close friends.

    • Reply
  • Robin
    Savvy October 2020
    Robin ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Not yet, no... We've mentioned the postponing, but haven't done a mass invite to the new wedding date.

    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag

    I think this is a blessing in disguise then! If you haven't sent out invites, I would just explain that you're cutting guests due to the postponement and you won't be able to host everyone you originally intended to. This is your wedding and if you want to do it smaller, do it!

    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag

    I think people will understand given the circumstances! I would send out a letter to your guests explaining that due to the current circumstances restricting the number of people that can attend, and to protect everyone's health, you will be having a small event and you unfortunately will not be able to invite your whole list.

    • Reply
  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha ·
    • Flag

    Do What Makes You Comfortable And Happy. Since You Haven't Sent Out Invites Yet, You Can Send Those Who Cant Attend Something To Explain Why And Maybe Invite Them To Attend Virtually Via Zoom So They Don't Feel Excluded.

    • Reply
  • Kristina
    Dedicated July 2020
    Kristina ·
    • Flag
    I agree with all the ladies, do what makes you comfortable. With Covid, wedding planning, stress and anxiety; I seriously wish that we just eloped. At this point I know some won’t come because of Covid, which will bring my guest list down and I’m totally fine with that. Do what makes you happy, still get married to your man even if it’s something small.
    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Beginner October 2020
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    Sooooo my fiancé and I were planning a wedding with 200 guest. Save the dates were sent out a few weeks ago but as of last week we decided to elope. I so stressed with wedding planning not knowing if our venue would allow full occupancy, and what will happen with COVID. We were working with a tight budget to be begin with. We found a free wedding Chapel that’s beautiful and are now using our venue money to go on a honeymoon! We honestly couldn’t be any happier with our decision. Better late then never. We are still getting married our original wedding date in October with only 30 guest.
    • Reply
  • Emely
    Savvy August 2022
    Emely ·
    • Flag
    Although I didnt have to cancel my wedding, I haven't been able to find a venue in my budget or that's available either. I can share empathy for your disappointment and frustration there. If you have to uninvite guests due to the circumstances, they should know that it's out of your control. If they get mad or spent money already for the wedding, there is truly nothing you can do. It's not your fault. You're doing the best you can. Don't try to make everyone else happy. Go marry your sweetie how you need to.
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Beginner September 2020
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    We are "downsizing" and having our wedding in our yard with immediate family and potentially the bridal party. We haven't yet sent out our invitations, but did send our save the dates awhile ago. We re-printed our invites to let our guests know of our plan change and to invite them to our virtual ceremony as we're planning to live stream the ceremony at home.

    • Reply
  • Breann
    Devoted June 2020
    Breann ·
    • Flag

    Invite only the ones who love and support you most, and Zoom the ceremony for everyone elseSmiley smile A lot of people are in the same boat, and truthfully, there are probably several people who wouldn't feel comfortable attending a wedding with a large number of guests right now.

    • Reply
  • Brandi
    Devoted July 2020
    Brandi ·
    • Flag
    My fiancé and I were set to marry November 7th, 2020. We moved our wedding up to September and cut our guest list by 60 people due to the virus and restrictions. Totaling 100 people for our in-person ceremony. We are opting for a streaming service for those who aren’t invited to attend. With that said, we created this short video explaining everything including guest list cuts, why and the announcement of our new date. Worked perfectly.
    • Reply
  • Catherine
    Just Said Yes June 2020
    Catherine ·
    • Flag
    Because of the pandemic we had to adjust our wedding plans as well. We had already sent out invitations with the hope that our venue would open. The venue was still closed so we sent out an email to everyone letting them know that unfortunately due to the circumstances surrounding the pandemic our plans for the day had changed and we were not able to celebrate with them as we originally planned. We closed it with we hope to celebrate with everyone soon, and then got married with just our immediate family on our original day (June 6 2020). Everyone was very understanding. You could plan smaller gatherings with folks after your big day so it is less stressful for you and the people on your original list can share the joy of your marriage with you too.
    • Reply
  • Christine
    Dedicated October 2020
    Christine ·
    • Flag

    I'd say it's the same etiquette as the original round of invites. You can invite who you want to and not invite those you don't. If you haven't sent out the rescheduled invites, then the same rules as the first should apply. The current situation with Covid-19 and all the current unrest will make people (1) understand the need for you to downsize or (2) might not even be comfortable traveling or being part of a large event yet. You should just reach out to those who have fallen out of the list and let them know of the circumstances. People are more understanding than most folks think.

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