In a pickle - asking for addresses and then not sending an invite

Oh yikes. Yes, this is incredibly rude. If you reached out to this person asking for their address specifically for you to send out wedding STDs/invitations, and they responded and sent their address, then I would definitely follow through with inviting them. If you ignore the situation and say nothing more, and don’t send them anything, they are likely going to reach out to you asking where their invitation is, assuming it was lost in the mail.

View Quoted Comment Uh yes, I thought so! I feel super terrible!! Thanks for the advise!

View Quoted Comment Don’t feel bad! It was an honest mistake! With everything we are responsible for keeping in order while planning these weddings, it’s no wonder miscommunications happen. And hey, you make get lucky and they won’t attend anyway LOL

Is there a reason they are no longer on your guest list? Because the guest list should be decided before you make any other decisions such as venue and vendors. Don’t send a save the date unless they are a ride or die guest you can’t imagine the day without. Which also means not inviting anyone out of obligation that you don’t want there. Because a save the date is an official invitation before the invitation, they should be followed up with an invitation. If they are questionable, don’t send a save the date. There are circumstances where you can not send a follow up invitation, but those are rare: if you no longer have a relationship with them (falling out due to abuse/racism/violence/etc) they don’t get an invitation. In that case, don’t say anything and don’t feel bad. If none of those apply in this situation, then send the date to be polite and they can decline on their own.

If this was someone on your fiance's list, I would let him be the one to speak to them. Unfortunately, if you specifically said it was for the wedding, they will probably ask when they don't get anything. Just advice for the future, even if I am collecting addresses for a specific invitation, I always tell people it's for my holiday card list. It's a lot cheaper to send someone a card once a year and have their address handy if you need it for something else.

I wouldn't say anything, honestly. We had a few guests that we ended up finding out some really terrible things about and I no longer wanted them there, so we just never followed up. We have even gotten an UN-invitation (during covid, the bride majorly downsized the wedding) and I wasn't even offended. Why should you pay for someone to come that isn't of the utmost importance to you? Honestly, if they were on the 'maybe' list, they're probably going to forget anyway as I'm assuming they aren't in your close circle of friends!