Impolite to Ask some People not to Bring Their Kids

You just say no kids.
We are having no children at our wedding for that same reason..
our daughter will obv be there, his brothers two girls and my two nephews that’s it. Our cousins and friends are not bringing their children

Maybe this is improper etiquette but I feel like if your best friend is in your bridal party then the rules do not necessarily apply the same. I would say if you allow your best friend to bring her child then you should open it up that one else. It is different if it's your personal nieces and nephews. However you could allow kids to come to the ceremony but then it fly or state I should say that it is an adult reception.

It’s impossible to exclude some children and not offend anyone. Unless these kids are all in the wedding, what you’re doing is rude.

Just say that you couldn’t fit everyone and the children into the budget, so you are only inviting children within the family. I’m doing that, and also some of my friends are annoyed that I’m not giving them a plus one, however I can’t afford to have all these extra random guests! (They’re already accounted for if they’re in a committed relationship or in my wedding party)

Find a way to put them into the wedding party. It's really the only way to only invite a few children and not be rude.

I feel like this is the question that never stops being asked LOL The consensus is always that there is no way to not offend/upset someone when you allow some children and exclude others. The only “tactful” way of excluding children is to exclude ALL children & have an adult-only affair, or to invite only those in the wedding party. Anything else is bound to offend/upset someone. That’s not to say you can’t go that route- it’s your wedding & you can absolutely choose to do whatever works for you! Just make sure you are prepared to be confronted about it & answer the inevitable question of why so-and-so’s child was invited & their’s wasn’t. It’s a sticky situation for sure! And I totally feel ya on the cost of feeding soooooo many children!

I thought I’d have the same dilemma but after talking with some of my guests they’re looking forward to time without kids (and mines a DW so that was surprising to me). I’d just have some conversations with people. But if your wedding is mostly local, I don’t think an invite for a child is or should be expected. I don’t think it’s a problem for you to exclude children except for the bridal party or close family. If people are upset oh well. You can’t please everyone. But I’m sure a lot will love an excuse to get out without kids.

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Exact words. I find that many guests want to bring kids because they want to be there but do not want to pay for a sitter. They can spend money for a few hours. I agree either no kids are allowed or allow all kinds unless those in the wedding party. If someone cannot make it because they cannot find someone to watch their kids then so be it. It happens.

We were in the same situation; if we invited everyone’s kids it would be a ridiculous number. So we only invited a few that are very close to us. To be honest, you don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why some kids are coming and why others weren’t invited. When people asked about kids, I just said that our guest list is tight and we have to stick to our original guest list.

You probably can't.


We are doing this. If they choose to be offended, that's their problem. 🤷‍♀️
If I dont know your kids, they aren't invited.
On of my fiances friend has 8 kids, has the audacity to RSVP coming for all of them, and shows up AFTER dinner. If I pay for 10 meals, and you show up late... are you freaking kidding me? No. So his kids (who we havent met besides when he brings then to receptions after dinner) aren't invited.

I am doing the same, we are going to politely put on the invitations to leave the kids at home. I’m having all of my nieces in the wedding and they will be in attendance at the reception and will be the only kids there, and as other people have stated .. if they get offended oh well, it’s your day so you can do whatever you want 😀

Kid free event; that's what we put on ours

We’re also doing a kid free wedding and we’ve just already prepared ourselves for people being upset or not coming because of it. I don’t really think it’s rude to just have family kids in attendance even if they aren’t in the wedding because they’re family lol. We’re doing online RSVPs through the knot and we have to manually enter everyone’s name, so when a person enters their name to RSVP they can’t add anyone that isn’t in the system, which is nice because we won’t have to have the awkward “hey you RSVPd for you and your 6 kids but they’re not invited” talk. I’m sure we’ll have people texting us asking about kids but that seems easier to me lol. And honestly if people are mad their kids aren’t invited, oh well. Weddings are expensive and venues have space restrictions, and you can not accommodate everyone!

Say no children except those in the wedding party and have those children in the wedding. That's what we're doing. We will have 4 children total

When I sent our invitations out my FH and I made the decision to put full family names on invites where we were inviting the whole family. For example, when we invited an entire household we put "The Potts Family" on their invitation. When we were just inviting the adults we put, "Mr. & Mrs. Mayer" if they were married, or "first name last name & first name last name" if they lived together but were not married.

Is your friends child in the wedding? I’m kinda opposite because my stepmom is inviting her friend (who is also my neighbor) but I said I don’t want her child there. My stepmom was like just make sure no other children outside of family are there then. So my niece and nephew are very young and are in my wedding so they will be there along with maybe a few small cousins.


I *think* etiquette says if you invite one child outside family or bridal party it’s polite to invite all children of guests. I could be wrong on that, that’s what I was told by my family. 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️

We are having a similar issue we have a strict 50 guest limit or we are out another $1,000, We've had to cut out family members with big families entirely.

This can be tricky, and really there might not be a way to make everyone happy when you get into the "some can, some can't" realm, but your guests really do not need any explanation around this

My husband and I chose not to invite any kids to our wedding for the same reason, and it worked out perfectly. We did not mention specifically that the wedding was kid-free but I have heard of people putting adult only ceremony/reception on their wedding website? We stuck to the rule of thumb that whoever's names were on the invitations, were the only ones invited. So instead of putting "The Oleson Family" on an invite, only put "Mr. and Mrs. Oleson" or "Jon and Katie" - you'll get confirmation that they understand the message by the number of RSVP's on the invitation, so if you see the invite RSVP for 6, you can follow up with them personally to discuss that the invitation was intended for the parents. It's very common for weddings to be a grown-up affair, and I highly doubt anyone will have an issue with your decision, so don't stress!

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Good idea about how to address the invites! Thanks so much!

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I think you are right. From talking to my friends, the consensus is that they were looking forward to a night without their kids. Thanks!