I'm too indicisive

I'm so sorry love about your mom. Maybe you should get legally married at the courthouse and hold off on a traditional ceremony. With the pandemic and your grief, it may not be the best to make arrangements for a destination wedding right now.

Breathe! LOL. Being indecisive is okay. I was that bride and my friend is currently that bride. At the end of the day, the day will go fast and no matter what you do, you're marrying him and your guests will be happy no matter what. If it helps, for my minimony we got married with two of our friends there as guests (bestie as MOH) and we went to dinner afterwards and even late night went to a tavern. It was super fun. I recommend somewhere close by so you do not travel. In regards to the secluded island would it be troublesome to get there and back? I personally say find a place where you two can have a private ceremony if that is what you prefer but for guests coming you should still do a cocktail hour while you take pics so I would think of a place where you can have food for them even if just a fruit and veggie platter then easier method to get to the restaurant.

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Thanks for the advice. The island provides boat transportation to and from the island, included in the price. We will have 20 people max (including us and I do not think some will be able to travel and we understand and are okay with that). I think the least complicated is definitely having our ceremony on the beach and a dinner afterwards. I think I need to stop looking at all of these other venues!

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Thank you. The other reason we decided to have our wedding in July in Honolulu is because due to Covid we were unable to have any funeral service for my mother. While in Honolulu we plan to spread her ashes as well. Only close family is being invited and we will have 20 people max if all can travel and of course as long as restrictions lift (maybe after the vaccine). But grief is odd and I think it's definitely playing a role in being indecisive like you mentioned. I hadn't even really thought of that.

I am so sorry for your loss. I also experienced a lot of indecisiveness as I have been planning the wedding. I had originally planned for a destination wedding in Spain, but had to cancel it due to Covid. I think set a plan with your fiancee. The more your talk to people and look around the more your mind with change. That is what happened with me. But it is normal to be super indecisive.

Welcome to wedding planning lol. I say go with whatever your gut is telling you to go with. It's definitely normal to be indecisive about certain things, but don't let it stress you out

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I'm sorry you had to cancel. Have you come up with another plan or waiting at this point?

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Thank you! Just go with my gut seems like the most sound advice

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We are still figuring it out our plan B. All we know is we are moving it locally. However, like you I am being very indecisive as to what I want since it is a complete 180 to what I originally wanted. So that is why I think it is totally normal to have different feelings. The more I look at wedding things, talk to people, or attend weddings my ideas of what I want changes.

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It is ok. Even two weeks before my wedding I was second guessing my hair style, looking at venues lol. It is a big day and one day so of course we want it perfect and there are so many ideas. It is understandable. I mean if it is not a long trek you could do the wedding on the island and then if anything the guests can head back to the main island and maybe they can go to the place you have set for dinner and a cocktail hour for them while you two take pics.

I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, i can’t even begin to imagine that. I would probably suggest giving yourself time to process your grief if you haven’t yet, and try to make a sound decision from there based on what feels right.


I’ve changed my plans for this wedding about 8,763 times xD. I’m honestly kind of glad that our Air Force plans are basically forcing us to get it done with basically right now haha. I can fret over the vow renewal in 2022 once we know where we’re going instead.

Sit down with your fiance and decide together what parts do you want and what do you prefer to skip. Compromise and stick to your list

Congrats on your engagement! There is surely a whole lot of stress going around right now.. Include your fiance in the planning and ask for them to pick up a few tasks this can help take off some of the load. Try to stay calm things will all be okay!

It’s okay to be indecisive, I’ve changed my mind so many times over the past three months. My fiancé decided to elope in March, by ourselves, with the exception of the person marrying us of course, and that settled our disagreements about who can come to the elopement and who can’t. And then we’ll have a little getaway. And then in june we’ll have our regular ceremony and reception. It’ll just be less stress because we’re already married, so more of a big party. And then go on our bigger honeymoon later June or July.

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Congratulations on having a firm plan! We have gone through so many changes at this point. I'd love to elope but FH still wants to wait and see if covid settles down a bit.

View Quoted Comment That’s understandable, I hope it settles down too so I can expand my guest list again. But if not, oh well I guess.