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Ebony502
Super November 2015

I'm the random plus one, HELP

Ebony502, on September 5, 2015 at 11:19 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 18

My best friend is going to a wedding today. She RSVP'd w/a plus one (she had a boyfriend at the time and doesn't now) so she asked if I'd want to go as her date. I said yes because who doesn't want to go to a wedding! But now I'm wondering if it's tacky, lol. I mean I know the groom (we all went to high school together) and they already paid for the extra plate. Is it ok that I go or should I stay home?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Ebony502, on September 5, 2015 at 11:32 PM
  • Jersey
    Master November 2016
    Jersey ·
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    Has she mentioned it to the bride?

    On one hand, if I was the bride, I already paid for the plate, so I would rather someone eat it than it go to waste.

    On the other hand, you know the groom, but aren't close enough to get an invite, so it's kind of weird.

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  • Kelli
    Master September 2015
    Kelli ·
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    I say go especially since you know the groom. As a bride I would rather someone eat the food I paid for! Is it a big wedding? I think makes a difference. We have 45 guests so it would be weird for me if some random person was there. We went to a very big wedding a couple of years ago and my daughters boyfriend couldn't go so she took a friend who didn't know the bride and groom. It was so huge I don't think they noticed lol. Especially since my friend who was MOB was counting leftover escort cards and counting up the wasted money!

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  • Kd
    Super February 2024
    Kd ·
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    If it was written as a "plus 1" then go. If not it might be a little weird. Would you bring a gift? I'm not sure how that works....

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  • Ebony502
    Super November 2015
    Ebony502 ·
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    It was her name +1 She's the type to always have a BF but not always for too long so it's better to just go +1 in case the name changes, lol. She's very close with the groom and knows the bride through him.

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  • allysia
    Master April 2016
    allysia ·
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    Have your friend mention it to the bride first. My cousin broke up with her bf and is now bringing her best friend who I haven't met before but I don't mind. I'm glad she will have her best friend with her and am looking forward to meeting her.

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  • Nikki
    VIP November 2015
    Nikki ·
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    If the wedding is today chances are the happy couple has already paid for the plate, so enjoy it! It's nice you already know the groom, and they are going to be so busy anyway that I really wouldn't worry about it, especially since she he a generic +1 on the invitation.

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  • TheHicksGetHitched
    Dedicated April 2016
    TheHicksGetHitched ·
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    Since it says plus 1, I would say go. At least the food won't be wasted.

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  • MzRosaLu
    Master July 2016
    MzRosaLu ·
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    I don't know why people are weird about this. A "plus one" is just that - a guest. It doesn't specify it has to be someone you are romantically involved with. Go and enjoy yourself.

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  • Ebony502
    Super November 2015
    Ebony502 ·
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    I'm going to ask her to check in with the groom (that's her friend, not the bride). She's in my wedding and I think if the shoe was on the other foot I'd be fine with it IF she already RSVP'd for her plus one.

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  • Mrs. Lav
    Master November 2015
    Mrs. Lav ·
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    Agree with PPs. Did she talk to the bride? If she didn't, I'd be hesitant but probably go anyway. It's not like the bride will answer today. How recent is the breakup?

    Side note, I went to a wedding once as my aunt's plus one. I was 16, and I'm pretty sure it was an adult-only wedding. I didn't know any better, but looking back, I'm sure the bride was annoyed.

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  • Lori
    Master June 2015
    Lori ·
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    This happened with one or two people at my wedding. Honestly I was just happy their plate didn't go to waste!

    Also, to those saying check with the bride first: the wedding is TODAY. Most likely the bride is either not checking her phone or, if she is, is a little too busy to be worried with things like this. At this point, I'd just say go with it and apologize later if anyone seems upset. But I tend to be laid back about this sort of thing.

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  • J&K Wedding
    Savvy August 2016
    J&K Wedding ·
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    I say go head and have a good time!!! I'm pretty sure the couple would be happy if the plus one didn't go to waste.

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  • Corinne_
    Master September 2016
    Corinne_ ·
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    If it were my wedding, I would be happy that you came. The already paid for plate wouldn't go to waste and my friend that is going through a breakup has a friend on her side, so it's a win win all around.

    I can understand that people think it's weird that she didn't get an invite if she knows the groom, but we all have people we know that we can't invite because of guest list limitations and since B-Lists are frowned upon, she probably wasn't invited after cancellations.

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    As a bride, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I'm not even sure why this would be an issue. The invitation was written to the recipient and guest. That's who the OP would be -- a guest.

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  • FutureMrsD.
    Super October 2017
    FutureMrsD. ·
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    I wouldn't mind because my food wouldn't go to waste, but I'd would like a heads up! I wouldn't want my guest to feel alone and awkward at my wedding, especially if he/she doesn't know a lot of the guests so I'd welcome her to bring a new plus 1...just let me know though so I am not thinking a random person invited themselves to my wedding! Smiley smile

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  • KitandKaboodle
    Master November 2016
    KitandKaboodle ·
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    If I were the bride, I would definitely appreciate her for bringing someone else. Most people would either come alone or not come at all.

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  • Ebony502
    Super November 2015
    Ebony502 ·
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    Update: I went, I had a blast and led the electric slide! My friend forgot her card in the house but I had a back up. I was the ultimate good random plus one guest lol. The bride was beautiful and all was well! Thanks for the feedback!

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