I'm stressed out, don't know where to start and he has no input.

If this is making you consider breaking off the engagement, maybe you have more to think about than the wedding planning. Some partners are great with helping, some aren’t. But you should definitely be able to discus the budget for the wedding if nothing else. You also should be on the same page about finances. There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship where you fight over money, so I suggest you think hard about that and see if his lack of financial stability is something you can live with, or want to. If you’re not sure about the relationship, don’t proceed with the marriage. A ring and a wedding won’t fix problems that are already there. I wish you luck.

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I completely agree with this. These issues seem a little deeper than just wedding planning. If he's not financially stable, is he ready for marriage? Perhaps you should focus on working out these issues before planning a wedding that he might not even be ready for. Have you considered couples counseling? It may be covered by your insurance.

At the end of the day, this is just a big party. You can get married at the courthouse for-$50 and call it a day. The rest is optional. It's not normal or okay to be losing sleep and your appetite. Take a step back.

I agree with what both posters said. Op don't ignore those red flags. Hold off until you all are both ready financially and emotionally.

I'm not generally one to say whoa those are major red flags....but given how you feel like giving up the entire relationship over even planning a wedding, I would say the time is not right for marriage. It sounds like there are some areas that need major improvements and like the ladies above me said, marriage isnt the solution to them.

I agree with the ladies before me in pointing out the major red flags. These issues go well beyond him just "being terrible at planning". If you're considering ending your engagement then you need to focus on what is causing these feelings and working on correcting those issues before you even start thinking about planning a wedding. How long have y'all been together? Was your relationship always strained? I understand working odd schedules as my FH and I both work odd hours, but that doesn't mean he can't help plan/save as well. This doesn't go just for a wedding either, y'all should work on building some type of savings for life in general, the best thing I ever did for myself was buckle down, work hard and build a savings account. I hope you are able to work on these red flags and build yourself up again, it sounds like you could use a little bit of wedding slow down and allow life to catch up.

I cannot agree with previous posters enough. If you are having second thoughts, not just irrational fears but serious concerns, you may need to reconsider going any further. Money is often listed as the #1 reason for couples breaking up and it seems to already be causing issues that can and will affect your health. These are signs and need to be considered. Do what is best for you!

I would let him know that this style of not dealing with the wedding doesn't work for you. "Sucking at planning" is no excuse to leave it all on you. I would sit him down and explain very clearly that the wedding does not happen if you are both not in it and making decisions. The stuff about money also concerns me - this does not have to be all on you! Remember you are planning a wedding for now but you will be spending the rest of your life with this person - he is giving you a glimpse at what that would look like and you are miserable.

What about a city/county event space?

This is not the best start for a partnership. This is something you both want, so you both need to work at it. Does he provide you emotional or financial support at all? It seems like this is a lot of give at the moment, and you're getting a lot of take from him. I would honestly consider some introspection. Is a pretty wedding worth this stress/heartache?

I'm really sorry that you feel this way. Maybe it isn't the best time to get married yet if this is how you feel. He should want to help you in planning and saving money. Communication is key, sit him down and tell him how important it is to you and tell him what you said in your post; you're ready to just stay a girlfriend or leave him entirely. Maybe, hopefully, he'll understand. Best of luck to you!

It seems to me that the lack of input on wedding planning is just the tip of the iceberg. I would think hard about how much this relationship means to you and if you want to put the work in to repair it first and foremost. Good luck.

I agree with the previous posters. I will also add on to say that you need to make sure you are eating enough. You HAVE to put yourself first before even thinking about his finances or the wedding finances. I understand this mentality, but the more you deprive yourself of basic needs for the wedding, the more you will resent the relationship. If you are having serious doubts of whether to go forward with the marriage, don't do it right now.

From my own experience (wedding planning while broke with zero support or safety net is rough), it is ok to take a break from wedding planning to work on other things, like finances and your health when you need to. We have been engaged for about 21 months in order to save money responsibly, and get our feet under ourselves while my fiancee finished her bachelor's degree.

It is ok to need time to get ready for the future. It is not ok to see no future together entirely and still go through with the wedding.

If you still go forward with the 10/31/21 date, I would strongly recommend financial counseling so he learns how to save money (honestly, do it regardless). You cannot live the rest of your life feeling stressed and hungry because your partner is unable to control his share of the finances. That is not fair to you.