I’m on top of things...he’s not

When’s your honeymoon? Technically, I didn’t get apply for my passport until the three weeks before we were supposed to leave (it got postponed due to Covid-19). I think the passport thing— you still have time.


With the groomsmen— if he’s having such a hard time, why doesn’t he just ask both? We asked ours about a year before our wedding, but I know some people who don’t ask until a few months. That would stress me out though so I definitely understand where you’re coming from.

I know I edited a lot of the WW timeline dates for the to-do list, as they weren’t realistic for us. I think you have plenty of time. Maybe give him a new date to have everything figured out?

View Quoted Comment My main concern with the passport is that the standard turn around is 6-8 weeks but with COVID they said to expect significant delays. So my brain is saying that it’s going to take at least 4 months to get it. And that’s freaking me out a bit.


As far as his groomsman, I don’t know why it’s been so hard. He said a month ago he doesn’t want to pick someone just to pick someone. But maybe my bridesmaids were easier to pick since I don’t have many close friends? I don’t know. I don’t want to stress him out....but I’m getting nervous about getting everything ordered and delivered in time.

View Quoted Comment I agree. Some of the dates were really early, but for me it was good because I was getting things done ahead of their schedule anyway.
Basically everything for the wedding is booked and purchased. It’s just the small details and fine tuning at this point, which I guess is what makes me nervous.
I got the majority of the big stuff done, but I can’t help him with his part of the big stuff. I just wish I could help him and make this less challenging for him. But the positive spin to this could be that he wants to have the best people possible up there with us. I guess I just need to take some deep breaths. Everything will work out.

View Quoted Comment You should just fill out his passport application for him. I did it for my husband. 😂


With the groomsmen thing, I would just gently remind him that he needs to make a choice by a certain date (I would give him until the end of this month) so that you have ample time to order suits/tuxes and plan things. I think if he could see how much more stress it would add to you if he keeps prolonging it, it’ll light a fire under his butt. The last thing he really wants to deal with is an angry, stressed-out bride. Haha

View Quoted Comment Karla,


His application is filled out. He just has to go to the post office to get his picture and get the paperwork processed. And our local post office never closed and was still doing passport appointments during the lockdown. I don’t want to push too much because I know he’s been working extra shifts and it has really been taking it out of him. I guess I just want everything squared away so we don’t have as much to worry about. He’s never been out of the country before so we are both really excited about our honeymoon.

View Quoted Comment Oh ok. Well then don’t rush him if you don’t want to stress him out about it. It’s really going to come down to how comfortable you are about not having ALL the details immediately squared away. I know the groomsmen’s attire was one of the last things I worried about (most got theirs a few months before the wedding) since I knew I could easily find a black suit at Macy’s that would be easy for them to order.


With the passport thing— I can’t give you too much advice on that since he physically has to go and get his picture taken still. Sorry!

You can take and print passport photos at home. My husband took my last one (there are guidelines on the site about size and framing). And then we mailed in the application. But that was a renewal, so maybe that won't work for you.

I am generally a fan of letting adults be adults and take care of their own stuff, but if he actually neglects to get a passport in time, that will ruin your vacation. The good news is that even if worst case it takes 4 months, he does actually still have plenty of time. I would let this go for a month or two and then take it up again, explaining how much it is worrying you that you will have to honeymoon without him.

"As far as his groomsman, I don’t know why it’s been so hard. He said a month ago he doesn’t want to pick someone just to pick someone."

He definitely shouldn't feel pressured to pick someone just to pick someone. Assure him he can choose them both, or neither. This is entirely up to him and doesn't really affect you. If he chooses too late to get suits, then that is 100% his responsibility to figure it out. I would leave this one alone.

I think it's valid to be concerned. my husband can be that way too -- much more nonchalant about things vs me i like to plan. maybe a way to help nudge is ask how you can help?

Worse comes to worse he can get an emergency passport. Had to do this twice with my FH. Boy was I stressed out! Costs a pretty penny but, it got us there and back. That is worse case scenario though. During brexit, It took 4 1/2 months to renew a passport.

Something to keep in mind with the passport application: if you have to send in a birth certificate that means it will be sitting in the passport offices until they reopen and make their way through the backlog. Your FH may not want to be without it that long, so if you can, try budgeting in advance for an expedited passport application just in case.

He sounds like me when I'm swamped with work and other responsibilities. These things do not seem urgent (you could literally get a passport in 24 hours). So on his one day off may he just wants to relax. However, maybe you can go with him to get his passport? Be like "hey lets go get your passport and grab lunch." I am sure he'd be okay with that. While some people are saying he needs to be an adult, I'm sure he'd get the passport done in time and figure out his groomsmen in a timely matter. But you seem to want him to do it sooner, so you need to help guide him to do these things in the time you want them done.