I'm not even sure how to title this...

Plus ones are attached to the invited guest. If your friend is not going then neither is their plus 1.

So you know the plus one but the invited guest is a stranger and her husband she is separated from (who should have been part of the invite regardless if you know him) is also a stranger? That’s how I read it, and honestly that doesn’t make sense. Either way, you should only invite people you can’t imagine the day without. You can’t revoke invites once they are sent but the girl you do know is not on the original guest list so I would not invite her. If you do, you will be B listing which is frowned on and impolite. Meet up with her at another time after the wedding and count the guest as a no.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. I don't see why the friend would even want to go to a random stranger's wedding where she won't know anyone.

Yikes well hopefully she knows that as a plus one, she is to follow suit with her invited partner, that would be the correct etiquette for sure. Maybe your friend who cancelled can confirm that with her?

The plus one is not an invited guest. She was the plus one to an invited guest. Therefore, she’s not invited to come.

The person who was invited that is now getting a divorce. Was going to bring her husband but he had to work. She was invited a year ago, we had to put off our wedding due to covid for 1 year. I told her she could bring someone else in his place.

I know the plus 1. How do I politely tell her she can't come now if she thinks shes still invited? I don't want to hurt her feelings.

View Quoted Comment She won’t get an invitation. That is as clear as you get. There is no need to say anything beyond that.

If you consider her a friend you can send her an invite, if not simply don't invite her! After all, she was only a plus one.

What makes you think the plus one thinks she's invited? A plus one is a guest of the guest. If the actual guest doesn't go, the plus one doesn't go. This is a non issue

View Quoted Comment Second this

View Quoted Comment I wouldn’t address this with the plus one, I would address it with the guest who is canceling. It’s on her to cancel her guest too, or at least sort it out in whatever way is best for you. But unless the plus one got their own direct invite, I would not sort it directly with them at all.

So to be more specific, I’d reach out to your guest and say something like “sorry you can’t make it. Making sure I have my guest count right, I presume if you’re not coming than SoandSo isn’t either ?” You can tailor exact phrasing to your needs , but that’s the gist I would do

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Thanks for the advice everyone!!!!!!!

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The plus one is not "invited," she's a guest of the person who is no longer attending.

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This 100%.

Plus ones are only able to come if the guest they are the plus one for is going. If the guest isn't going then neither does the plus one. I wouldn't send the invite so therefore she should know she isn't able to come. And if the guest asks if her plus one can still go I'd be straight forward and say no plus ones can only come with guest.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this, however some people are just wedding crazy and want to come rather they will know people or not. My brothers girlfriends mom and sister want to come to my wedding. Yes they know my brother but they didn't know me or anyone else at the time. I thought it was strange when they asked him to ask me if they could come. But like I said some people are just wedding crazy.

I’d respond to your friend letting her know you understand and just say, “thanks for letting me know you and (plus one) won’t be attending, I’ve updated our count.”

The plus 1 shouldn’t be coming anymore since the actual invited guest is not coming anymore.