Im having a bridal shower

Don't do a honeymoon fund because it's rude to ask for cash. Also - there is no point to a shower if you don't get gifts.

I recommend googling honeyfund weddingwire because there are a ton of other posts on this topic that have lots of comments saying why it's rude.

Either don't have a shower or make a registry. I'm sure you can upgrade or get new things. No one has everything.

Everyone on here is very against honeymoon funds. If you don't need gifts, then you could do a recipe shower. Where everyone brings their favorite recipe. FH and I have been together for 5 years and have lived together for most of it and we still made a registry. I would still look and see if there are things you could upgrade. Sheets, towels, any small kitchen appliances, dishes. Most things we have were all kindly given to us used from family, so we are excited to upgrade.

All kinds of etiquette problems here. First of all, mother of the bride should never throw a shower. It's considered poor form. It should be thrown and hosted by bridesmaids and if you don't have any or they choose not to, then you just don't get a shower.

Secondly, honeymoon fund? No. It's considered very rude. A shower is literally supposed to be for boxed gifts. That is the point of a shower. If you throw a shower for honeymoon money, people will assume you're unaware or just don't care about proper etiquette and the purpose of a shower.

Tell mom no shower in your case.

My few family members think its a good idea to do a honeymoon fund, but i personally dont care for it... i know many ppl love to give money, I am one. But i dont feel comfortable asking...

In some circles mom hosting is fine.

But a shower is for boxed gifts. If you dont want or need new towels or sheets or dishes or anything. Have no shower.

We have everything we need as well but weren't opposed to upgrading.

Yeah I call BS that you have everything you need. Everyone needs *something*. Personally I'm very excited about getting some nice dishware and upgraded linens. Been living with my FH for 2+ years and our stuff is just meh.

Also I echo the other PPs to a big fat no to a honeyfund. Tacky, rude, gross.

Dear lord don't do a honeyfund. Register for nice towels and sheets and upgrades.

You have everything you need, until it doesn't work or has been used so often that you toss it in the trash. When the coffee pot craps out on a lazy Sunday morning, it'll be lovely to say, "Hey, we have a brand new one in the cabinet". Nobody has a corner on the "it never wears out" market.

Next, you don't, under any circumstances, give yourself a bridal shower, and neither does your mother. Your bridal party does that -- if they are so inclined and can afford to host it.

If you are having a shower, then get busy looking at luxury linens, comforters, towels, dream cookware, dishes, flatware, glasses, and counter top appliances. It's called a registry, not a GoFundMe. Nobody should have to spell it out for you; the fact that you're asking proves that you're not quite comfortable with asking your guests to fund your vacation. This is a wonderful opportunity, but the opportunity is for housewares, not your fantasy honeymoon vacation.

Okay...I'll say it...in what possible scenario is it acceptable to extend a tin cup with the word "HONEYFUND" written on the metal? It's never acceptable. If you want a honeymoon, that's part of YOUR wedding planning/funding. Figure it our yourselves and work it into the budget. If guests give you cash, put that cash towards your vacation. If they don't, oh well.

We have been living together for 3 years and still had plenty to register for. Lol. We registered for nice towels and sheets, new kitchen tools, new small appliances, etc.

I will go against everyone else on the Honeyfund. I have one. Simply because I have had a few friends say they wanted to pay for an excursion for our honeymoon because they have been to St. Lucia (where we are going) and want to give us a great experience instead of household items. However, I have only given them the link if they ask. I do not put it on the shower invitation. Do not have a shower just asking for money.

Showers are for presents of things - not cash. Nothing is more awkward than opening up cash or gift card amounts (like Honeyfund).

Upgrade. New towels. New sheets. New kitchen towels. Extra pot holders. Stuff to entertain for the holidays (platters, etc.) Trust me - as someone who was in her mid 30s when she got married and was already established, upgrades were great.

No No No honeyfund. Not only is it asking for money, which is super tacky, it charges for people to give you money which is ridiculous. If people want to give you money, they will just give you money. But Definitely register for some upgrades, like E-Tex said. At my shower, I said no gifts please because I had everything I needed too and just wanted to enjoy the day with my girls...but some girls did give me gifts, of which were gift cards and cash.

I've never heard that MOB shouldn't throw a shower but I call total BS on anyone who says they have everything they need. I've been living with FH for 3+ years, want cash, still did a full registry.

The family should not throw the shower; it looks gift grabby.

Everyone needs something. Make a small registry and most people will give you money anyway because it's easier.

Honeyfund cuts you a check, minus a fee. It's lovely to think that they're giving you a zipline tour, but they're really giving you 200.00. Oh, sorry, 180.00

If you don't need gifts then you dont' need a shower.

So wait it's not ok for your Mom to through you a shower I thought it wasn't ok for you to through your own shower

Accordingly to Emily Post it used to be only the bridal party - however now anyone can throw a bridal shower. She does note it was frowned upon because showers are for gift giving and the family shouldn't ask for gifts. (http://emilypost.com/advice/shower-etiquette/)

I'm actually in awe that Emily Post says it's acceptable to ask for cash now (http://emilypost.com/advice/inside-weddings-registry-rules/). However you won't find support for it and MANY people still find it inappropriate to ask for money, especially on wedding forums.

I recommend knowing your circle and being aware of the common responses to these things (especially honeyfunds).

Best wishes.

Kiandra you for sure shouldn't throw your own shower- ever.

In my family - aunts have thrown the showers for at least 2 generations.

I don't think it's every acceptable for family members to throw the shower. That's especially true for the mother-of-the-bride. And no, the bride herself shouldn't throw her own shower either.

I have to say I'm not completely against honey moon funds.... I am however against collecting money through a site that takes a share of it for themselves.

I would go with what everyone else says and do a registry. I had the "I have everything I need" mentality too until I read advice long enough on here and realized using towels and sheets that are 3 years old is gross and it's time to get new ones.

ALSO, I went to a shower/wedding last year where they wanted honeymoon money and guest didn't feel comfortable bringing cash for both. Therefore a bunch of people bought random gifts that they probably didn't need and I didn't even bring a proper gift because I was already giving them money at their wedding

@Erin, People often say the aunts should throw the showers but not everyone has aunts. My kids will only have 1 and it'll be from their dads side that we aren't close to so I very much doubt she would ever volunteer to help with anything.

IMO I don't see anything wrong with a shower being thrown by anyone, except the bride herself. Mine was co-hosted by my MOH and my mom, with help from the only aunt I have contact with. Around here the majority of showers are thrown by the mom. I think I've only actually been to one that wasn't and even then she was helping.