I'm getting married in a cruise ship and i just learned that my future cousin-in-law's spouse's mother has booked a room on the ship (!?!)

Personally I would not add them. They were not invited and if they are coming along to help other family or just for a vacation it’s not your responsibility

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I totally second Cyndy. They weren't invited, not on the list. Don't sweat it, girl!

View Quoted Comment That’s right. It’s rude to crash a wedding.

It's rude for them to crash the wedding but someone gave them all the info in order for them to do that, so I would speak to that person. Also that person maybe so close with the family and that's how they do things(oh you know such and such is getting married, you going???) So you may want to talk to FH as well. That could start an issue within the family

I’m not sure why you would invite them, and I wouldn’t think they would expect to be invited. They probably booked a trip thinking they could spend time with their kid, and that they would find another way to entertain themselves that day.

I agree with Mcskipper. Cousin-in-law's spouse's mother might not even want to go to the wedding. Maybe Cousin-in-law just said Hey, I'll Be On This Cruise, You Should Come Too! so they could have a vacation together.

If she tries to show up for the ceremony, just tell them you're sorry, but people can't be added at the last minute and no one RSVPed for her.

You would not have invited someone not related in any way, nor a good friend, any other time or place. No need to issue an invitation now. I am sure 25-30 of out aunts it cousins would have brought an in-law unrelated to us but who lives with or is close to them. 4 of my brothers-in-law have their MIL living in a separate appt. in their home. They came to the location of our wedding. But no one thought they should be invited. They took care of their grandchildren during the wedding, and did things with that family the other days of the 4 day weekend. Your in-laws in-laws, or cousins' inlaws might be nice for a dinner or picnic. Not an add-on for a wedding .

I agree with PPs. Don't add them!

Agree with all the PPs. No need to make special accommodations to add them! We had a destination wedding and I know numerous guests brought their extended family to stay the weekend with them and assist with childcare. No one "crashed" our wedding, but we did extend them an invite to our casual welcome dinner if they wished to join. (As a buffet, there was no additional cost for us to do so.)

No way, do not add her! I would have FH contact their cousin and make sure this person is just on the cruise for themselves, and will not be crashing. Better to clear that up now, rather than day of.

Are you certain this isn't just one of those "it's a small world" coincidences?

I agree with Cyndy. They aren't invited and it's rude to show up uninvited to a wedding. If you have ushers & they try to show up. You can have an usher tell them to leave, and explain we were told you were not invited to the wedding, therefore you are not included in the head count (only people who were invited and rsvp'd yes are in the head count & they are here). Sorry, but we didn't account for you and do not have the food or chairs reserved for you.

I highly doubt her booking has anything to do with wanting to attend your wedding. Likely your future cousin-in-law and spouse invited his/her mom to join them on vacation since they were going on a cruise.

If you don't mind her joining, it woudl be totally fine to reach out and say "hi, i found out mrs. Smith is going to be on this same cruise, if she'd like to join us for the wedding and reception, please let her know she is welcome". If you'd rather she didn't then don't do anything.

Again, i really don't think her booking a cruise has anything to do with your wedding.