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Cassie J
Beginner May 2021

I'm Broken.

Cassie J, on April 2, 2020 at 9:09 AM Posted in Planning 0 8
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I am having such a hard time coping with everything going on right now. I know that all of us are going through a difficult time. My wedding is towards the end of June. We have a back up plan that if things do not get better we will be getting married in May next year. This was the earliest day we could do without losing money. I cry everyday; we have been engaged for 2 years and together since we were 15; we are now 25. This day was going to mean so much to us. I know the health of our guests is important but my two extremely important people on my side of the family are old and I have a fear they will not be here in a year's time. One in which is my grandfather that I share a birthday with. I cannot imagine my day without him there; it kills me to even think about it. Many of us are going through a lot of emotions that we cannot explain. In my eyes no one is being selfish for wanting their wedding to happen. We are human; we are allowed to have emotions and be completely broken that this has to be a part of our special day. I can't imagine waking up in the morning that I was supposed to get married without all the butterflies. Not being able to put on the dress that I have spent two years losing weight to look perfect in. Not getting to see my husband's face when he sees me for the first time. All of the most exciting moments being ripped away. Yes a wedding will still happen later in the future; but it does not change the significance of the day that has been planned for so long. I’m emotional, I’m broken, and I’m lost.

8 Comments

Latest activity by MeetTheRobinsons, on April 3, 2020 at 12:40 AM
  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I’m sorry you are going through this. Like many others who are dealing with the same thing it’s sad to think about all that has gone into your special day that for some won’t happen. Try to focus on the positive. You are healthy and happy with your FH. Start thinking about something special you can do on that day if you aren’t able to go through with your wedding. Maybe even do a small ceremony with an officiant if the date is super important to you. You could have those family members you are worried about be with you and then you can have a large vow renewal next year. I can’t imagine how hard this must be but since all of this is out of our control try hard to breathe and stay positive. Wishing you the best of luck.
    • Reply
  • C
    Beginner June 2020
    Cynthia ·
    • Flag
    I echo your feelings 100%. Smiley sad Our wedding is in the beginning of June, and while we’re waiting until early May to call it, it’s looking more and more like it’s just a pipe dream. Postponing means that close loved ones, who our wedding won’t be the same without, likely won’t be there. The memory of our wedding, whether it happens in June or not, will always have this terrible memory associated with it. My heart is broken, and I feel selfish for being sad. My fiancé and I had to go through a lot of hardship to be together, and we couldn’t wait to finally tie the knot after all these years. Now it’s all just a mess...
    • Reply
  • Maggie
    Beginner June 2021
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    I see your pain and I feel it too. My wedding is also at the end of June and every time I think about postponing I just want to cry. I am devastated. Allow yourself to grieve and feel sad about the loss of that special time. But just know that your wedding day will be so special when it happens. We’re going to get through this.
    • Reply
  • Maggie
    Beginner June 2021
    Maggie ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Oh girl you’re not selfish for being heartbroken over the loss of your special day. I understand your pain. We’re in this together
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Expert October 2021
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    You could as pp said have a small ceremony with your very closest family, though the most fragile should be wearing protection and kept at a safe distance from others. If you don't want to have a ceremony you could always wear your dress and take pictures with your loved ones just in case they aren't able to see you later on. Either way, do not feel bad for your disappointment. Talk to the older couples you know maybe they can give you crazy highlights from their own weddings. Sometimes hearing other people's stories can put things into perspective and be a bonding moment. All the best.
    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Beginner August 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag
    My heart breaks for you. You have every right to feel this way. It’s okay to not be okay. You are not selfish. You deserve to have the wedding day of your dreams. Im so sorry 😩
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  • Jo
    WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
    Jo ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry Cassie. You are grieving the loss of your plans, I'm sure a lot of our members can relate to how you're feeling. I hope you have a strong support network around you to help you get through this, do you have people who you can talk to and lean on? How is your FH feeling about the backup plan?

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  • MeetTheRobinsons
    Devoted June 2020
    MeetTheRobinsons ·
    • Flag
    I share your frustration; praying for our country and our special day. Best of luck, congratulations in advance and keep safe.
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